27 June 2010

You want a mediator? Here's your freakin' mediator....

So - last night, I was watching this comedian, Jim Jeffries. He is VILE - alternately horrible and hilarious (and I mean HORRIBLE). So.... while I'm laughing at some of his stuff and alternately standing open-mouthed, disgusted, ready to leave the room, I mentioned to hubby - "If I was with a group of people I like, I would NOT want him sitting next to me. If I was with people who I dislike or who consistently misbehave, however, I would want him RIGHT next to me." Hubby agreed. Laughed. My next thought was, "I think I'll invite him to Christmas Eve dinner." (Or New Year's, right? Happy f***in New Year's). Hubby had already thought the same - in fact, he was planning to announce to his family that all vacation plans, etc. would be handled through Jim - Any complaints? Talk to Jim. Jim drops the "f bomb" A LOT - he is Australian and, apparently, a bit misogynistic, arrogant, bigoted, an atheist, and a drinker to boot. Ahhh.... I can picture it now - anyone acts up, starts calling another family member names, begins to gossip, starts to verbally attack someone, sulk, snark, snarl - whatever - Jim would say, "You! Sit the f*** down and shut up!" (said with drunken slur, of course). And, really, a large percentage of the people involved would deserve this.

See... in our families, we've had to have a lawyer intervene on one side - a "life coach" on another (THAT did not work out well) and more. When there is trouble, we get phone calls regarding what to do, can we help, etc. When things are calm, we are ignored - completely. And all the "in fighting" - beating each other up even when we're not involved - tears - silent treatment - back-biting - not to mention all the "clean up" we have to do when they venture outside the immediate family.... It is not normal - it is constant - and it is comprehensive and all-inclusive (i.e. not a normal one in sight), which.... is why we think Jim might be a good family counselor or estate executor as well. I mean, he would really blow our families' skirts up (they are all self-proclaimed "conservatives" - you know - good family people ;-). I actually feel sorry for most of them. I would not sic Jim on them. Wait... maybe Shane MacGowan. Are you all familiar with the Irish - Punkish band from the '80s and '90s, the Pogues? He's their lead singer. Upon introducing the band to one gentle friend, she uttered, "how horrible" in response to some of Shane's lyrics... To which hubby responded.... "Oh, he's horrible alright, but the Pogues are awesome." Shane is now in the running...I can hear him singing now... "You scumbags, you maggots, you cheap lousy....." (Fairytale of New York - Google it)...

And just to prove that I'm not entirely humorless and / or swear a lot ... Some happy thoughts: Took the whole family to the gym yesterday and it worked out really well - me, hubby, Olivia worked out while little ones went to the childcare area and played Wii :-). The painting in the foreground of the photo I've included was done by my hubby (so proud - though the mess behind it is all kids :-). Trader Joe's multigrain pancake mix is really good (tried it out this am). And... finally - the episode of Fresh Prince of Bel Air (you watched it - you know you did - can't help it - I love Will Smith) in which Carlton (Alfonso Ribeiro) dances to the Tom Jones song - It's Not Unusual - is still really funny. My Olivia and pals have been circulating "the Carlton Dance" all week on Facebook (You Tube it).

US out of the World Cup, though they did give Ghana a good run yesterday. England currently playing Germany (and with Italy and the US out - England is my next love).

See ya!

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