All work and no play....

... does make Sherri (me) a dull girl. And.... I'm not going to lose it a la Jack Nicholson in The Shining (as my segue to a rant indicates here), but.... I am snippy these days.

After days of folding laundry, emptying the dishwasher, making dinners that no one likes, and getting my winter frump on (UGGs, yoga pants, jogging bra, long-sleeved T, scarf, and hoodie), I get .... well... like I said, snippy (see, I even have advanced brain fry - not good for a writer who needs to be able to.... um.... use words).

I am torn between reveling in the fact that my boys want me to play card games with them, and want to perform holiday-inspired plays for us, and want to "help" me with everything in the kitchen lately... AND .... getting frustrated because I take five min. showers, don't even brush my hair, never watch anything I want to on TV, and .... do NOT get a single minute alone. My teen wants, wants, wants.... my just turned three year old is demanding as kids that age are. And... really .... none of this warrants complaining, but.....

It's just that, after doing the laundry, the dishes, the blah, blah, blah, I do NOT handle things well - even the smallest of skirmishes or late night requests pushes me over the edge these days. I snapped the other night when my five year old Milo (so new to that age, I almost said 4 :-) had the nerve to cry over a hang nail at 4 in the morning. I also snapped at him tonight (after the sweet boy washed his dinner plate for me - which will need to be... ahem.... washed again, btw - and drew me a picture and a holiday card all so I would "be happy") because, when baby sis Lil went to give him a card that she made for him (and had lovingly colored and taped and glued for quite some time in response to the card her gave her earlier :-), he said, angrily, "I don't like pink." And... when her little face fell, I just started to yell at him. He hid his face in his covers (it was bedtime), and... THEN - after the inappropriate, dramatic reaction... I soothed him, explained my position, gave a mini-lecture on the merits of saying thank you to gifts of any kind but especially of the heart. Truthfully, in his preschool mind, he probably just didn't want big kindergarten brother, Enzo, who was right next to him, to think he liked the card if it was pink (clearly a "girl color", right? ;-).

And.... speaking of big brother (a new 6 year old and experienced kindergartner, as you all know), I feel like my attempts to comfort him fell flat tonight. See... all day, they would NOT leave me my space in our 100 year old city victorian (i.e. narrow and close downstairs) house. I wanted to begin to clean up the dining room for our impending Christmas Day dinner with family, but they wanted to do art projects and had paper, markers, paint, glue, and glitter strewn from one end to the other. It is, currently, beyond me. I cleaned their room (on the third floor), put out games, laid out art paper, piled their favorite books, put their favorite Disney show on the TV and, still, they would not leave the first floor for the glorious playroom of a space on the third floor. Instead, they were downstairs, dragging Indiana Jones and Mario / Luigi costumes all over the place - changing into one, then the other (and each "quick change" required help, of course) - loud-talking, even screaming, crashing into an antique table when they tried to be a donkey under a comforter with a handmade donkey face (HIGH points for creativity and fortitude in execution on that one, but... come on.... my favorite table - broken? Screaming? REALLY? Help).

So... back to Enzo ... while he did "doctor" me back to health today with back rubs and ginger ale when I had a headache or drew me pictures and wanted to sit next to me and hug me most of the day, he is the ringleader in all of this. When I say go upstairs to play, he has the big fit, and he forbids the other two little ones from listening (secretly, of course, but I know what they're whispering about). So, I firmly told him that the bags of ice they had all filled in response to imaginary "head injuries", all had to be thrown away because they were melting and creating puddles. I cleared the dinner dishes (total crap tonight - soup, egg rolls, granola - whatever we could scare up with hubby at Steelers game), reminded him about the ice bags, and went about my business. He, with good intentions, took his soup bowl into the kitchen for me (and I know his technique - take the soup bowl, maybe she won't be mad about all the melted ice - but it is still appreciated :-), and... slipped on one of THOSE ice puddles (no "I told you so" here - it was quite apparent). Soup everywhere (like out of a movie everywhere - noodles on his head and all over the front of him - I stifled laughter, btw... and did assist him ;-)! I had to take the opportunity to hit home the lesson, so... the comforting fell a bit flat. We had tears all the way up the stairs to bed. And I tried to make him feel better - I did. BUT..... the other two little ones were nagging me AND poor Olivia needed to have an important paper proofread, and I was having trouble getting to it all.... Just stretched too thin. And not for just that moment.... ALL THE TIME lately.

Sigh. Geez... I really don't know what to say. Do I even HAVE a point? Anyway.... so... the photo: Not my delightful Irish Coffee. Texted to me by someone who did get out tonight (did I mention my hubby froze his ass off at the Steelers game and stopped by an Italian place in Bloomfield for warm food - so... locals, you know it's good :-)... tonight? Did I mention that?).

So .. do you guys lose it? Do you ever feel stretched too thin? OR, worse, like you've just scarred your child by committing some horrible act of indifference or insensitivity? Humiliation (yikes)? I know you're all busy.... this season is nuts. If you have input, please, by all means, fire away. I need a spanking - or a shoulder to cry on - not sure which yet.

Ok - am I being punked?

HUGE build up to the Christmas show this year. I have NEVER seen Enzo so excited to play one of the three kings. We even have family coming - we know how to get a good seat - big sis, Olivia, is excited about going back to her old school to watch friends sing and to run into friends from her class last year - it is going to be a good time. And... all season we have been healthy and hearty, ready for any holiday activity. Until, that is, the first of the raging fevers hit yesterday - the second this morning.

Yesterday, I went out for the morning - I had Christmas shopping, a stop at the gym and a stop by Whole Foods for some yummy soup and crusty bread for dinner. The boys and Olivia happily went off to school - hubby to the dentist (me and Lil met him for coffee briefly) - and Lil was off to morning out. I got a call about halfway through my morning that Lil was "not herself", so I went to get her. As the day bore on, it was apparent that she had a terrible fever and was complaining of ear pain. A trip to the doctor's office - replete with odd orchestrations regarding who's driving who to gymnastics, texting about school assignments still due for the next day, and back and forth about what to feed everyone for dinner - revealed that it was just a fever - a virus of some kind. One restless night later, complete with two boys who need to pee all night then spend time giggling and loud-talking into the wee hours until hubby had to lay with them - the inflicted, Lil, who suddenly refused the Tylenol that she had lapped up earlier and had such a fit that she threw up and was burning up even more than before - plus she was covered with the sticky, sticky buckets of Tylenol she had just expertly spit out..... Anyway, I had to bathe her, and I was not happy (I was firmly telling the boys to stop talking. I was covered in sticky Tylenol and had a three year old absolutely kicking, screaming and crying, so I went into mean mommy mode - getting done what I needed to without emotion - telling both hubby and the kids to stand by, stay quiet and let me do what I needed to do - even yelling at the goof-balls - STILL awake and acting silly at 3:30 in the morning!!!!). I quickly popped her in the water - washed her gooey hair and poured water all over her to cool her even just a little bit. It worked. All dressed in new pjs, damp hair and much cooler all over, she settled into our bed.

All the kids were restless the rest of the night (not to mention, hubby's snoring and alarming sleep apnea and my back pain and perennial headaches - can anyone say stressed?), and we woke this morning to a whiny Lil who is still burning up and STILL refusing Tylenol - Enzo, still excited but a little confused about the logistics of the day - and, Milo... poor Milo, who was also sooooo looking forward to his Christmas sing-along in preschool tomorrow... he is now burning up as well - though, happily drinks his Tylenol (we can't do Motrin because of his kidney issue... even though it might work better) and, usually, is pretty animated once he starts to feel better. Poor guy. At all costs, I'm going to make sure he makes that performance tomorrow :-). Now.... about tonight (and Olivia HAS to go - the 9th graders look forward to this return to the old stomping ground).... we have no back-up, so... we'll see - don't want to subject sick kids to just anyone.... a lot to ask. Poor cupcakes - not their fault :-(.

Anyway, the photo is of last year's performance and last year's three kings. Fingers crossed that I make it this year.

A messy life, but... a good life.

Yesterday was a rough day. I mean a real doozy. My kids were fighting and crying and hitting off and on throughout the afternoon. No one wanted to play a game, do an art project or bake with me; they were content (or not - who knows?) to sit and watch PBS shows and wrestle and complain and tattle..... Late day, one slid into the Christmas tree (hmmmmm.... wonder who that was ;-) - two tried to break into the bathroom while big sis was showering - just to torment her (I remember those days from my own teen years) - no one wanted to sit and eat dinner - everyone was accusing me of favoring the other (oh - and I just love that - heavy on the sarcasm). I quickly reached the end of my rope - hands shaking, tears in my eyes, feeling sorry for myself, and yelling and acting short and nasty with everyone. Of course, late night, I felt guilty for not giving more attention to the individual "situations" and for not trying harder to engage them all in something more productive. After all, that is my job, so to speak (CEO of the home - with no executive staff).

This morning, bleary-eyed and queasy from lack of sleep (when they are that keyed up, they do not sleep well so I am up and down aaaalllll night quieting everyone - moving one from one bed to another if necessary - accompanying them to the bathroom - fetching water - I'm sure you all know the drill...), I was still feeling low. Olivia missed the bus, Milo had a pre-7am tantrum, Lil wet the bed, and Enzo was starting to get anxious about it all though reluctant to put on his own sweatshirt or shoes, so.... I had to for him (amidst all the lunch-making, school form gathering and more). Once I shook off the doom and gloom, however, I made a valiant attempt to refocus, and I think I've succeeded in doing so.

Now, I am reminded of how lucky I am. And I know I harp on this a lot, but... today, I FEEL it. I watched the sad story of brave Elizabeth Edwards and how she lost her battle with cancer yesterday. I listened to the story of her life - saw photos of the beautiful boy she lost in a car accident when he was only 16, hugging his mom - happy, freckled - sweet grade schooler - attentive teen. I remembered all the pain she has had to endure recently, and I started to think of others - friends, family - anyone remembering beloved members of the family this season, losing fathers or grandmothers or children. I thought about how we're all so desensitized these days that we get embroiled in these odd awkward "battles" with difficult family members or we pass the Salvation Army bell ringers and ignore the Community Food Bank's requests for food. We can't find it in our hearts to donate even $1 to St. Jude's Children's Research Hospital or the Make a Wish Foundation when we're buying $100 worth of merchandise at the grocery store or Williams Sonoma.

OK - off the soapbox... I think I just want to enjoy my season - my family - my life. I desperately want to give back to others (I mean that coat drive in the mall isn't just the box of coats you see every year, it is coats for kids who do NOT HAVE ANY - remember that), and I want to honor the memory of those no longer with us or help those who do not have as much by appreciating what I have and sharing what I can. I think we all want that - really. Sometimes, it is hard to refocus for that intent, but I think we're all capable.

Glitter and letters to Santa

Yeah - so the glitter was OUT last night. As we ate a dinner of leftovers, soup and buttery, yummy croissant (Daddy working late, so... easy dinner, BUT have I gushed about Trader Joe's self-rising mini croissants AND chocolate croissants? If not, I should have.... go get them... NOW), we worked on Enzo's Christmas tree, an annual thing in kindergarten. In fact, I remember doing it with Olivia years ago - and, of course, with Enzo last year. We have done beads and glitter in the past - possibly once even some beads and dry cereal. Wow - now I feel like I have to dig those Christmas trees out. I mean, I have saved them. I save all their art stuff, but... now I just gotta see'em (I have a friend who puts all her kids St. Bede artwork out when the season in appropriate, and... I just think that's so great - especially now that they are in middle school, high school and college :-). Anyway, Milo had a gluey, glittery, messy work of art going on - Lil was happy just to watch - and Olivia was upstairs toiling on homework. Same with Enzo - he toiled over math and letters and ate and applied glue and glitter to his tree. A lot of fun - STILL a lot of glitter today.

We also did some letters to Santa just before bedtime - tried to fill them with words of good behavior and love - don't want the focus to be entirely on gifts, of course (though they all told Santa at Saturday's breakfast that Enzo wants a DS gaming system, Milo wants that XBox 360 Kinectimals game and, apparently, Lil wants a kitty - Olivia's list is too long and designer-laden to recount right now ;-).

Like I said, we are in full glitter, lit up, cookie baking, crazed excitement Christmas mode here. Totally nuts. Behavior is marginal - some trouble at bedtime and dinnertime (it's the fighting, yelling and tantruming that I can't stand - the whiny reluctance to do things that comes with the holiday season is easy to deal with in that not picking up toys, not eating dinner, not going to bed can be remedied with a quick "Santa is watching" comment, but.... the other stuff.... well, in their over-stimulated state of being these days, it can reach a fever pitch).

Anyway, my high maintenance brood is off into the snow today - lunches of hummus, salad, peanut butter and holiday gingerbread are packed (hubby actually got homemade chili - a recipe that I must share if I already haven't - will do a food post soon) - boots, jackets and all the gloves and hats are unpacked from bins in the basement and taking up room in our front hall ..... all good - all snow - all happy. This morning, as flakes fell, tree lights glittered and the sounds of a salt truck woke the little ones, I dispensed breakfasts of chocolate croissants (Olivia), warm waffles and syrup (Enzo), yogurt and granola (Milo), and cheddar cheese, green apples and bread (Lil), thinking.... you know -they may be high maintenance at times, but.... isn't this what I signed up for - really? So... happy in this house this morning. Happy and warm. Stay safe out there, everyone - starting to get icy.

Errands and.... why, why, why???

Lately lovin' the day to day stuff - boys up and happy each day, ready to brush teeth, eat breakfast, head off to school - Olivia happy with new friends, enjoying her field hockey experience, getting good grades, joining youth group - Lil animated and sweet each day, spending one on one time with Mommy, playing with all her toys, taking walks, dressing up like a "prince-ness". Was just saying this very thing last night - that all was going so well. Granted, hubby has a time-consuming project at work - I have endless school forms, new freelance work and the new day to day school routine. We are tired, and... have little time for each other. It gets rough, BUT we haven't seen our kids this collectively settled and calm in a long time - going to bed willingly, sitting to eat dinner without fighting, dressing themselves, our teen even wanting to spend time with us :-).

This week, we still have to get through two school open houses, the second of two field hockey games AND an all-day tournament on Saturday, movie night at school, dance class, soccer, camp out, birthday treat for Enzo at school, "snack helper" day for Milo, quick b-day celebration / Steeler game on Sun (and party invitations for a movie party a week later) - aaahhhh!!! Seems like a lot, but we can handle it.

This morning, our stride was broken a bit. Enzo woke upset that Milo had gone downstairs without him - Milo wet the bed for the first time in, literally, a few years - Lil was up and down all night last night, restless, calling out - Olivia running a bit late today, almost missed the bus, clipped responses to everything I said to her. After Enzo's tears and Milo's reluctance to eat breakfast as a result of Enzo's tears (he thought he was angry with him) AND the time I took to soothe and alternately scold this morning, we were running late going out the door. Hubby was checking something on his laptop - in my eyes, ignoring my struggle to get Milo to wear certain shoes, run upstairs for socks, help Enzo with his backpack, put one last minute treat in Milo's lunch, etc. I was running out of time - my boys were ranting at me - and.... hubby did nothing UNTIL I had all shoes on, all back packs, etc. packed, THEN he bellowed - "What do you need?" - "Why are you freaking out?" "You know we're late, don't you?"- Actually bolted up the stairs and yelled past my sleeping toddler - "I'm up here now - what do you need?" Um ... nothing. I have it all. Needed it like 10 min ago - stop yelling at me - stop talking down to me - stop acting like I've done something wrong (and, yes, then I go into turbo bitch mode). I do appreciate that you had to handle something for work during this tight timeframe. I'm sure you had your reasons, BUT I was still dealing with crying kindergartner, dirty socks, stubborn preschooler....... Sometimes, we need to remind ourselves that lack of sleep on my end - too much work on his - a mean comment from his Mom on my end - a mean phone call from her on his - all that CRAP needs to be put in perspective. Ridiculous what adults will dwell on sometimes OR let get to them. Thankfully, one phone call later (school drop off went well), and we are straight - all good - business as usual (I suggested hubby go to gym :-).

Anyway - off to school to help with kindergarten this morning....

Photo: Milo and Lil shop Whole Foods yesterday. As you can see, they just had to buy pumpkins, gourds and mums - in honor of the first day of fall, I guess (yeah - it's here :-). And... oh yeah - still lovin' that iPhone!

Going totally suburban!

Or went, rather. This weekend. With "the teens", as I've said - which is how I will now refer to them. And - and it was actually QUITE a weekend with the teens. They sat and had Thai food with us Friday night (Green Mango in Regent Square - yum - lemongrass beef, spicy king chicken - pad thai....) - they did a sleepover that night (Lil and I returned from ballet in the morning - fresh from a soccer tantrum with Milo that required assistance in getting off the field - to find "the teens" lolling about in blankets in the tv room while the kitchen looked like there had been some sort of "pancake accident" with batter, dirty plates, bits of bacon, empty juice glasses, etc. all over) - there was a Central / Oakland mixer on Sat. night - and... we went homecoming dress shopping on Sunday - which.... brings me to the suburbs part - we went to Ross Park Mall so they could hit Juicy, Lucky, Louis Vuitton (yeah, right - on the latter ;-). All about the girls this weekend.

So .... we hit Gap, Ann Taylor, Nordstrom, Macy's - all the usual suspects - had pizza, lo mein and gelatto in the food court - grabbed sweet, steamy coffee drinks on a "break" - looked at jewelry and make-up we don't need - the whole mall experience. I have actually NOT done that in years!!! Years. I'm not kidding. Felt good, actually. Fun.

Anyway - big scores for both Olivia and Olivia B on dresses and shoes - my Olivia got a metallic-ish, simple swingy strapless dress with a tasteful gather / rose in the front - strappy silver sparkle sandals with a little heel to match, and.... Olivia B got a strapless black dress with pretty, textured flower detail on the full skirt and a pair of retro bright blue suede pumps to go with it. Super cool dresses AND shoes. Lil had a great time trying on shoes in Nordstrom. All the sales girls thought she was the cutest. She kept saying, "Look" and pulling her little leg to the side so that everyone could see the giant adult size 7 red patent high-heeled shoe she was proudly clomping around the store wearing (Mommy's size, but... like I said - all about the girls this weekend :-) - though we did LOOK at some awesome boots right up "Mommy's" alley - red ankle boots with a heel - high brown and black leather ones, lace-up and zip - new UGGS with buttons and straps - retro Frye - chunky boots with buckles - aahhhh... boots ;-).

Anyway ... some fun stuff:

Found this site after seeing the logo / label on the cocoa I use to make hot chocolate. My extended family has some diabetes and other health issues (I'm adopted so have no medical history - but my Mom's Dad was Native American and diabetes is an issue - my Dad's family had gluten allergies and other stomach issues, etc.) as does hubby and other people I know, so... worth a look. It is a site spawned by Oprah - HOW did I miss that all this time?

And here's a scary email headline: Vince Neil in your local Borders. AAAHHH!! Signing a book called Tattoos and Tequila no less. Wasn't he in Motley Crue? Right? I often block frightening childhood memories so .... may have that wrong ;-). Anyway .... some new books, etc. coming out - holiday deals on the horizon - worth a look.

And.... has anyone seen the M. Night Shyamalan movie, Devil? I love a scary movie - found the Sixth Sense brilliant, but... nothing from him since then has proven very good. Reviews seem mixed thus far...

Think of my little Milo today. He has his iron test today (blood drawn at Children's - good times :-(.

THIS I know.... Another one of "these" posts....

I know:

That when Milo wants to have a tantrum... he can have a TAnTruM!!!! Knock down - drag out - I'm on my knees, in tears - stroller knocked over - lil's snack all over the ground - I lost my ring - the school principal asked him to leave ...sobbing, sobbing, roaring.....

That, despite tantrum, it was nice to go to my first May Crowning. My Olivia and her friends looked beautiful (May Queen and Court just the sweetest, kindest girls - the whole point of the Queen, etc.) - Enzo was THRILLED to see me - his sweet face peeks out over the church pew - sitting with all those little kindergartners - the nicest guy :-)...

That, when my boys take a shower or a bath, there is an inch of standing water in the bathroom, and... splashes on the ceiling... and the window is smudgy ... and the armoire and my towel are wet.... the snorkels were even out on the floor...

That my Lil loves the sand and mud. Our water table will never be the same again - filled with what she, Milo and our little neighbor, Finley, call "Magic Soup" - mud, leaves, rocks, sticks... You get the picture....

That I just ordered the cutest little somethin' for Lil here.

That hubby is home but still working, working, working.... When will the much-needed break actually come?!?!

Oooooh.... not five, but SIX things I know today :-)!

Ho hum ....

Milo has begun demands this am but is also singing (Down by the Bay.... where the watermelons grow....Back to my home...) - Lil so tired she is sleeping in - Enzo so allergy-ridden that he has no appetite (though is happy that he is snack helper and is looking forward to after school, so... that should help) - Olivia has a big run in school today (the gym teacher is allowing a run in the park as opposed to laps around the gym, which, I think, is just great) - happy for Sandra Bullock and her new adopted baby boy - concerned for the giant oil slick headed for shore (and sad for the families of the accident victims) - happy with the American Apparel thermal long-sleeve t's I bought my boys - psyched to be through some work / freelance stuff and moving forward - calm, for once, about an upcoming fundraising project - concerned about some bullying I've seen lately..... All that and I still have that laundry to put away, toilets to clean, gymnastics to attend, summer activities to plan, planting to get on - more. All good :-).

Oh - and check out some of these free trade products as described in Real Simple.

I've attached some footage of Milo exhibiting kinda how I feel today (yes, it's a tantrum ;-).

She REALLY should make those kids behave!

I know there are a lot of sympathetic people out there, but when you've had to deal with the string of tantrums I have today, you do feel a bit shamed and ostracized. OK - please stop me if I begin to ramble (oh - I just made myself laugh - I know you couldn't stop me even if you were in front of me with a bat threatening to smash my computer - and, ladies from afar, that is not an invitation to do so - you know who you are ;-).... OK - so scratch that - let's go with "ramble alert"....

I look forward to my one on one mornings with my kiddies. Today - was Milo's day. Not a great start... When we dropped Lil at her play group, he chased her into the bathroom, growling (I'm told she spent a good deal of the morning needing to be held and comforted - great - either she's traumatized or a future Oscar contender - of course, I prefer the latter). Gymnastics was a disaster. The teacher (his beloved Miss Beth) said "hello" and he dropped to the mat, face first and didn't move. Since I have to still do "Mommy and Me" with him (believe it or not, he will not go in on his own), I tried to pick him up, but he was, of course, limp. I got him to his feet, whispered something threatening in his ear (take the Wii away - no outside play on this beautiful day - something....) and tried to hoist him towards the other kids. No go. When it came time to do his favorite event - bars, he got happy for about 5 min. (one turn, basically), then.... I did something wrong when I spotted him (keep in mind, because I did coach his age, I do make him behave and do the trick properly - no one needs to get hurt) and the growling started again - the careening from side to side (he even does this awful like circus trick where he makes it look like, when I go to grab him, that I've somehow thrown him to the mat - those close to us are aware of this maneuver - those who don't know us... I mean who knows what they think, ya know?), so... to keep everyone involved safe and in good spirits, we left (besides, there was this poor kid trying to decide if he wanted to go in and do the class... and... I mean - probably not with the Tasmanian Devil careening about).

The post office went about the same (and I was DETERMINED to get done what I needed to - tired of going home and cowering) - DSW (I broke a pair of my cherished flip flops - needed new ones - STAT) was OK - he hid from me and did cartwheels - went through a security door looking for the bathroom - also "picked out" an armful of "beautiful" shoes "for Mommy", but... not bad (really - this is OK in my world because he's happy - active and spazzy, but happy - it's the "Mad Milo" that I find so upsetting). Trader Joe's. Ugh. By this time, we had Lil, and... I did that silly thing we all do (you know you do) whereby I bring in one bag in which I plan to put in my "items for dinner and maybe one treat" - of course, I come out 45 min. later with my one responsible, environmentally friendly bag and five other paper ones - FULL of who knows what.... Oh - and balloons (speaking of circus tricks). Anyway, I made the mistake of unhooking Lil from her carseat myself and... that did it. He could do it - he was a big boy - why do I always help him...... And it continued inside the store. In appropriately Milo / Jekyll and Hyde fashion, he would, helpfully, grab our bananas, organic apple juice (all my little ones know our "regular stuff" to buy), milk... then, he would flip out and run or lay down or yell - then.... Lil got into the act. I had to continually threaten to take away the highly coveted organic lollies - a trip to the playground - a turn feeding the fish when we got home - ANYTHING I could think of that was important enough to them so that if it was TAKEN AWAY, they would be prompted to good behavior (and this is almost always after sweet-talking them and asking them to be my "super special helpers" and offering all sorts of fun stuff when we get home - I really do try that first - the "what's wrong?" / reward system - I can be nice :-). Awful. Embarassing (and it didn't help that a former member from the Mother's Group I so miserably failed at... well... I don't really care.... but she was there, staring - AND, in gym class earlier, a similar situation had presented itself in the form of a chatty "I know her" - type acquaintance who likes to explain Milo to those who don't know me. Awesome).

I wouldn't feel so bad - I wouldn't be driven to tears IF.. I didn't have to admit that it does look like my kids don't have manners - that they walk all over me - that I don't care what people around me think - and worse.... ugh... much worse... that I'm a bad mother. I keep saying "haha - my two oldests are SO calm" (and they are, right?) OR - "naptime" (good God -these two haven't napped in MONTHS - one of them YEARS!!! Who am I kidding?). This is all karmic retribution from way back when I, then childless, would judge and judge and judge. I'm serious - I was terrible.

Anyway.... glad I'm home ... Coffee anyone?

Very Similar to a Public Flogging

So... this morning.... we're all set to go. I had that routine down again - breakfast orders as their eyes open, socks in boots, clothes laid out, back packs set to go, lunchboxes filled with soup, salad, chocolate milk, bottled water, peanut butter, etc. Everybody was having a great time, watching cartoons, running around, laughing, talking about their day at school (seriously, Enzo is going home with a friend so was excited and chatting about it, the little neighbor boy, Eli, was riding with us, so... again, everyone excited). I even had time to pack Marcello his beloved Peruvian Beef Saltado (family from Peru), which I stir-fried during that CRAZY dinner hour last night (and this one was a doozy - Lilliana lost a bottle of milk somewhere in the house, one of the fish died, I broke my shoe - I'm a barefoot / flip flop girl all year so not a real shoe, but... still, all the kids were fighting, no one wanted stir fry but me and hubby so I did breakfast for dinner - like in Coraline - for everyone else, though little ones wouldn't eat, I had to resort to putting the Wii on again....ugh...). Anyway, everyone zips up, grabs lunches, puts back packs on... heads out the door. I gave Milo his lemonade (that was his "breakfast" order) - Lilliana waves good-bye to him - Olivia starts to put him in his booster seat, then.... the "thunder cloud" face. He gets red - eyes fill with tears - he glares under his long, long bangs - he drops everything in his hands to the ground - he begins to growl -then he begins to rant (you didn't give me a cup - I don't like these little straws - no one listens....This is all a step up from when he used to point his crooked little finger at us and just say one word - "Never" - very menacing ;-) - then... he runs (the lap of rage, we call it). He takes off down the sidewalk - sharp left at the driveway - breakneck pace to the backyard, the whole time growling, ranting, yelling. Finally, his boots slow him down - hubby able to corner him - throw him over his shoulder and pin him into the car. Usually, he'll act like he's gone unconscious in the car - then whoever drives him that day will have to "fireman carry" him into the building (last week, he went into the school bathroom and sat in a corner, face to the wall, until hubby left - we are told AS SOON AS we leave, he is FINE - when I pick him up, he is excited and tells me he had a great day - AND this has only been going on since the "snow days". AND - 90 percent of the time, he is FINE by the time we get to school and wants to run in and "surprise" his teachers or takes his coat off running because he is so excited to get there - FICKLE FOUR YEAR OLD :-). Oh well - guess I know better than to give him the actual juice box - noted is the fact that I should put the liquid into another more acceptable container, which I did this morning, to avoid the "Mad Milo Syndrome". Pick your battles. Anyway... we'll manage - we always do.

Oh - and our "Winter Walk" yesterday turned into a springtime splashfest - great fun! Sipping coffee, I walked the sidewalk and HAD to have my sunglasses on - Milo and Lil splashed and climbed crunchy snow mountains. We all went inside to get dry and warm after quite a while out in the fresh air!

Photo: Would this angel face do ANYTHING like what I describe above? I think we all know the answer to that one.....