Throwing in the towel....

So - today - rejuvenated by the fact that "things" are going well this summer (having the kids in tennis and swimming lessons and semi-hanging out on their own a bit has done wonders for my interaction with others at the club - still have kids bucking for the "clinginess" championships, but... am doing a bit better - can chat a little - sit a bit - have not done either in years - so even being on the fringes of inclusion feels good), I packed a nutritious lunch (had forgotten that Enzo did not have tennis today, but... got all ready bright and early so hit Trader Joe's instead and had some fun one on one with my little E), got all the towels, bathing suits, sunblock, changes of clothes, water for hydrating, etc. ready - and packed up the car with me and ALL kids (Olivia included - and she NEVER wants to hang with me) and headed to Milo's swimming lesson at the club, planning and looking forward to staying all day. Then - things got odd.

My cell phone wasn't working and neither was Olivia's (love you, Verizon Wireless). Once that problem was solved, Lil wanted to join the swimming class again and cried when she was told she was too young. Enzo suddenly said he didn't feel good (even gagged a little) - refused food, refused to get in the water, wanted to go home (and I suspect it is, once again, because he doesn't want to use the restroom at the club and, therefore, created some stomach issues for himself - frustrating - happens every few days). Milo was ready to eat then hit the pool after his lesson but got cranky when he and Lilliana fought over the Coke that I reluctantly got to settle Enzo's stomach. Hubby called to tell me that he would not make it home early and would not be able to work out with me late day (too busy). Soon after, I discovered that, once again, members of our family planned a fun Florida trip without us and, further, were trying to keep it top secret. Awesome. Heartbreaking in that my kids were upset a bit about that news.

Anyway, headed out to the van, hot and frustrated, crying / fighting kids in tow. Did run into some people who said - "stay - we'll help", but I was embarassed and just wanted to leave. In hindsight, I should have stayed and taken them up on the offer. I wanted to have a day with Olivia, and I wanted to sit in the sun, chat with friends, watch my kids enjoy the pool like they did the other day (friends and water and sun - the stuff that memories are made of - really, should I have to convince my little ones of that fact? Lil seems to get it - why are my boys so fickle?).

I do have to learn to accept help - develop deeper friendships. It's not the way I was raised (in fact, such "craziness" was discouraged - my Mom preferred to choose what we did, who we hung out with, how close we got....), so... I will have to work on it. I vow to do so. If I would have opened up and accepted the help of friends today, I would have had a much better go of it.

So.... we got gas in the car, ran a quick errand and came home to air conditioning and movie. They are fine now - in fact, when they saw some friends walking in, wanted to go back. Too much. I should have stuck it out, ignored everyone else having fun, dealt with the whining and waited to see what would happen. But... with Enzo almost throwing up and ready to poop his pants - Milo fighting - and Lil insisting on the big pool by herself, it just got to be too much.

I'll admit it, too. I did get a little teary - watching everyone else's kids swim, throwing my carefully packed lunch out on the way home (out of anger and frustration - my mantra should be - "don't react" - "don't react" ...), dressing the kids in the hot, cramped car so they don't get their carseats soggy with their wet bathing suits (I just couldn't deal with locker room).

Alone again. Looks like a house cleaning, photo organizing, laundry folding kind of day :-(.

Oh - and one thing of value before I go.... I do have kids who like Spaghettios (sp? - and yuck), so.... got a message from Giant Eagle about a recall. Read here. And.... this. Are you kidding me? Spain's loss in the recent World cup game blamed on goalie's girlfriend!?!? Whatever.... US plays / played ???? today. Updates later....

Have a good weekend everyone! Olivia is trying field hockey tomorrow - it's my birthday - and.... Father's Day, so.... wish us luck ;-)!!!