Fruitcake... and other holiday comfort food :-)

I had to add that list bit to the "fruitcake" lead in, otherwise, you might think I was referring to myself - given my recent rants and tongue lashings. I could unleash more, but... won't (you're welcome ;-). I will, however, insert one more plug for good holiday behavior.... Please people - give some thought to kindness this season. Don't bump someone out of their seats at the Christmas pageant - don't act rude to other shoppers, even if you're tired, even if they are being a little pushy - don't forget to tip or give gifts to people who take care of you all year long, like hairdressers, newspaper delivery people, and mail carriers - don't forget that everyone else has also had a long year full of happiness, sadness, stress and calm, which means it wouldn't kill you to send a card, inquire about a family member, deliver some candy, extend a helping hand. Off my soapbox now.... really..... cuz we have something more important to discuss... food.

So - yeah. Fruitcake. I like it - always have. When my parents lived in Europe, all the Europeans wanted this highly coveted brand from the states (probably brought as gifts from Americans, but...) - Claxton Fruitcakes and, since I had a sometime home in the South, at the oceanfront - no less, in total fruitcake manufacturing country, I would go in to my local grocery store and load up on.... well... just a cartload of Claxton fruitcakes like a crazy person (and, since I was living in Europe for a good part of the year, too - some people would literally ask me when I would be able to make my fruitcake run, if at all, that year ;-). See, they wanted a really gooey, nut and fruit-laden version - none of that cakey, overly sweetened stuff (and we worked those cakes as hostess gifts, office gifts.... more - crazy for the Claxton Fruitcakes :-).

Anyway, this morning, hubby and I watched the likes of Nigella Lawson and other British chefs show off the proper techniques for making a fig pudding on CBS Sunday Morning, and... well watching all the sugars, dates, nuts and figs being mixed together (and then lit with alcohol - and I mean LIT - like the holly topper was in flame - all meant for another post entirely ;-) made us hungry for some delicious, dense, sweet, gooey, nutty, fruity.... well... cake. So... on my run to Whole Foods for baking supplies, stuff for dinner tonight, and school lunch treats, I grabbed a fragrant rosemary tree, Belgian chocolates, sweet clementines, Panetone, and a tray of holiday cookies to make hubby's office festive, AND..... I grabbed a fruitcake for US :-).

So, yes, I will cut and serve fruitcake in my house on Christmas, and I will continue to bake and bake and bake. Fudge and sugar cookies yesterday - chocolate chip something or another today - probably an apple pie later this week (I have the granny smiths to prove it). It's funny; I am a pretty healthy girl - spent years as a vegetarian and calorie and fat counter - still buy natural, organic and healthy, but.... when it comes to my holidays and / or my desserts, I want total comfort food. I mean, I am so weirded out when my mother in law suggests white rice and salad as sides to a holiday meal. Salad (and keep in mind - I eat salad all the time - total raw foods girl - bought myself green beans and snap peas to eat raw today - already made myself some cooked, plain spinach - will have my treat of coconut milk yogurt and Grape Nuts later... I really watch what I eat)?!?! I mean - why? I'm just gonna put gravy on it. I want my sweet potatoes, casseroles, roasted turkeys and roast beefs, potatoes with gravy, etc. AND, for dessert - I am a dark chocolate connosieur so look out, and.... I love rich, layered flavors. To me, the otherwise fat and calorie counter, I do not think fat or sugar-free belongs in a dessert (though, for health reasons - diabetes on both my mom's native american and british sides of the family, we will absolutely fix our desserts so that all can partake). So ... if you see me, at any holiday gathering this year, with a "is that a piece of green on my plate?" look on my face, don't be alarmed; it is me - I am OK - I am just in holiday food mode (all I can say as an excuse is exercise, exercise, exercise....;-).

So - happy, happy, all. Hubby at Steelers game today - planning big, cozy pasta meal later to keep the cold away - saw niece and nephew in a holiday music show last night and ALMOST went skating on the downtown plaza (those lines.... man oh man... think we'll do a weekday instead) - went to church today, remembered my dad and watched the lighting of the advent calendar (and missed a friend's email telling me about her church's holiday show - would have liked to have seen it, but... the season isn't over yet :-) - in some ways, just beginning.

Gotta go hang kids' artwork, make some cookies, and snuggle under the big comforter while we watch some holiday specials on tv over and over. Busy, busy ;-).

Milo's first PB & J!

I'm not kidding. That is how picky my Milo is. You all remember that we are on a quest to improve his iron absorption, and.... the doctors will tell me (in desperation) - "give him a sugary cereal that is iron-fortified" (and a lot of them are, btw), but... my Milo doesn't like Fruit Loops or Honey Nut Cheerios - or any other sugary sweet crap that other kids just scarf up. I mean... potatoes are a semi iron-rich food, and he doesn't even like french fries. He doesn't like pizza, mashed potatoes, pasta, bagels, hot dogs, cheeseburgers - all the other greasy, yukky / yummy stuff on which other kids subsist. He is not entirely without nutrition - happens to be a granola, whole grain, fruit, juice, yogurt and milk lover, but.... he does NOT like new things (recently tried ham because they mention it in his new favorite move, Ponyo, but... gobbled it up for a few days then abandoned it again... go figure...). Anyway, here is something for those of you with picky eaters. Oh - and here. And here. And... oh I could go on all day, having spent a good deal of my own time researching this. BUT -today - is a banner day! He tried SOMETHING NEW - other more nutritious stuff may follow :-). Holding my breath....

I would like to note here that... I DO think this is a direct result of Milo eating lunch at school with his friends. He observes what others eat, and he wants to try them. I know they share a bit. I remember when my Olivia was in daycare - they would have the kids sit at a table together and eat family style (when she got to be about 4 or so - when they are able to pass plates, etc.). Doing so caused my picky Olivia to expand her food interests and her palate, and she began to want to dip bread in olive oil or revisit peas and corn - taste different meats and cheeses or pair rice, potatoes, other veggies with her "regular" meals. I think the family dinner table is good for this too (see my blog list - Dinner: A Love Story - thanks AB and friends for that - and a number of my other recipe / mom blogs). I think eating well and exercising are so important - particularly as kids get into sports and as we all begin to age (and I don't mean "become elderly" - I mean move from our 20s to our 30s to our 40s, etc.). Anyway.... I am officially OFF the soap box. Anyone have a story / advice to share?

Speaking of food (and you all know how I do), here is a yummy place - currently Pittsburgh's number 1 brunch (though they do dinner too). Try it; I'm going to.

What DOESN'T Matter (a "mean" post)

In a previous post, I mention reaching out to others - even just to say "hi" - to hold the door, etc. From my perspective, I am a stay at home mom, who, for years, had limited interaction with people. I craved friendship. I was a little ashamed that I didn't have close friends nearby. I was happy in my world, but... I have to admit, I did get teary thinking about it all. So... truthfully, when someone asked how old my baby was - asked where I got my shirt - struck up a conversation at the baby pool - or talked to me at the library toddler story hour, I was eternally grateful - made me feel like I belonged in some way.

I get very tired of people judging and excluding others. I see it so often, I wonder if it is just part of insecure human nature to want to elevate yourself in this way. Before I begin my rant, let me disclaim it by saying, I'm not a grudge holder, but ... I do not forget what I've seen as part of a person's character - or lack thereof (I can already hear some people gearing up to blast me for being on my high horse - don't bother - I rarely feel "better than" someone else. Blast me, however, and you will become one of the lucky few firmly planted beneath me in terms of moral character for eternity ;-) - yeah - gasp). What I observe about someone, too, does not necessarily mean I don't like them. I realize we are all flawed (and that absolutely includes me... so... grain of salt, right?).

I have seen women viciously roll their eyes at pregnant neighbors or friends, trying to handle little kids or wrestle groceries from the car. Hand over mouth, they turn, lower their eyes and begin the gossip. "She's not that tired. Why does she act like she doesn't feel well? She looks terrible; how much weight has she gained? My husband had to help her with her laptop the other day. Are you going to her one year old's birthday party? I don't want to go - boring." Giggle. Giggle. A year later, these same women are bragging about their own big pregnant bellies, workin' that extra 50 pounds, acting so sick that they have to lay down for hours and their friends and neighbors bring them food, calling that same person about whom they snarked a bitch for not attending their kid's birthday party - More. Shocking? Not really.

I know women (and, yes, I'm picking on women today - Why? Because we should support one another - lend a hand - offer the "benefit of doubt" - NOT gossip about others or judge other females for how many kids they do or do not have - if they wear heels or Converse high tops and combat boots - whatever - my experience, given my current lot in life, is mostly women, so there - no apologies) who consider themselves artists, open-minded hipsters, liberal cool parents, music snobs, etc. YET immediately stereotype the women they meet who maybe did not choose to have their babies at the Midwife Center - or who enjoy buying expensive jeans and designer bags - who may send their kids to private or, worse, Catholic, schools (vocal self-proclaimed atheists rarely listen to other opinions OR notice other truly searching / I need an answer atheists - open your freakin' eyes, right? Reach out - use that alleged open mind of yours). Do you REALLY ask sincerely about what kind of music another person likes? Or - if he/she isn't wearing black and doesn't have any arm ink, do you just not bother.... Hmmmm... that looks like an expensive haircut, she probably doesn't know who The Pixies, Bad Brains, The Pogues, Metric or Passion Pit are? Funny - that was a random grouping of music, wasn't it? I'm expecting some snark on that as well. Why didn't you include blah blah blah (remember -that's what pontificating sounds like to me); they are true visionaries circa 2010.... WHATEVAH!!!

Here's a little something about me (and, again, don't feel sorry for me - don't be pissed - don't peg me a narcissist, I'm just talking...). I am a former vegan who has turned back to meat for health reasons (anemia, etc. - don't ask) - though I am still a HUGE animal rights person. I am also well-versed in nutrition, having had to watch my weight for years as a dancer (and, yeah - doesn't bother me - I needed to be fit - and I wanted a certain look - my decision, in part - but, it was also part of that world - you don't have to like it or approve - it is what it is). I raised my oldest vegetarian for years - though all my youngests eat meat. I disapprove of fat-laden, red meat heavy diets. I am a big raw foods, wheat germ and vegan yogurt, carrot juice and other vitamin-rich drinks that don't fizz fan to this day. I usually keep my mouth shut when other, all-knowing people tell me how they are foodies, nutrition fanatics, etc., implying that any of us within earshot are not. I am a good cook (not great) who can whip up the finest creamy casserole or sloppy joes as well... I'm not trying to be someone I'm not - I'm not trying to impress anyone.

Back to the dance thing ... I worked my ass off for years. I went to some pretty impressive auditions, studied with some fantastic teachers, performed in many capacities, taught all forms, LOVED IT with all my being for years. I was very good. I don't know why, but some people are surprised when they see photos of what I could do (can do ;-). You were on pointe? You're that flexible ( was a kick ass gymnast for years too - worked HARD on it)? Sometimes... and I'm going to shock some again - I get - "I'm better than you at yoga. Oh - I was in dance, but I quit because it wasn't cool. I can do that. You look too heavy to be a dancer (and / or your boobs are too big for a dancer's - and, yes, I do have some baby weight still on that needs to come off - totally my fault because I eat and I don't move enough, currently - soon...)." Again - these are adults!?!? And, again, I keep my mouth shut. I know they aren't dancers. I know they suck at yoga (though I would never say any of this - and wouldn't even think it until attacked, know what I mean?). I know they're angry for some reason. Maybe some of you who read me know what I'm talking about? Though... I'm SURE you're nicer - even in the private recesses of your brain - than I am. None of the people I'm pontificating on now read me (at least I don't think so... and, yeah, if pontificating sounds like "blah blah blah" to me, I can't even imagine what you guys are actually reading / hearing here :-) since I am, in fact, pontificating).

I walk barefoot all year - do yoga daily - raise my kids to respect all races, religions, etc. I also love fashion - Manolo Blahnik shoes - Seven jeans - crazy expensive tops and bags and accessories. Can't help myself. I deck my kids out too. So what. I also study Eastern religions - I am obsessed with the occult, ghosts, the afterlife, etc. - always have been (I checked a ghost story book out of the library so much as a kid, they gave it to me when it became really worn) - yet I support my daughter in all her Catholic sacraments, altar serving, etc. and even occasionally wear a little silver mini rosary in the shape of the symbol for "woman" looped on my thumb - Given to me by a nun during a difficult time in my life, it does give me some strength.

I send my kids to Catholic School because when I was a single mother and had no one in my family (except for my wonderful Dad) who I was close to (busy being judged by everyone from my youngest brother to my oldest childhood friend - some of this has changed - some hasn't), I sent my beloved Olivia to a school where I knew she would be safe and happy, knowing I would move a lot, I would work a lot, I would stress a lot. Also, my late father was Catholic, and I have fantastic memories of holidays with his family - my sweet aunts and uncles and fun cousins :-). I had a horrible public school experience (and I don't even have enough fingers and toes to count the people I currently know who are pro-public education and vocal and mean about the "fluffy" private schools I allow my daughter to explore for high school, etc., but... choose a charter school for their kids. Not entirely public, my friends - alternative a la private curriculum. Think about it - at least before you open your mouth, that is).

My Dad was raised well - ethnic, working class - fantastic work ethic, religious, kind, giving, respectful of others. He did well in life (in many ways - but I am talking specifically financially here because so many people relate to that as a discussion point) so that when my parents lived in Europe, I was driven by a private chauffeur - I ate in the finest restaurants - I traveled extensively and stayed in the finest hotels, etc. - though... my family preferred to travel like Europeans, attempt the language, etc. (I can speak French, can understand Spanish, and my family reads / understands a combination of the following: German, Spanish, Luxembourghese, Polish). My parents went to the Grand Duke's Ball in Luxembourg - they had accounts at the finest stores in town - they belonged to a private supper club - a private men's club, etc. My Dad would have kicked my butt if I acted like I was better than anyone else. I never would. I keep my mouth shut when those close to me and my kids now (for whatever reason - family, marriage, etc.) tell me HOW to live well. My perspective has changed.... I have this - I have that - the past, present, future - I have what I believe.

I am not conservative by any stretch of the imagination (politically, personally, emotionally) - though may appear so or may lean that way on occasion because I am committed to my kids and my family. I am open-minded beyond most people's expectations when it comes to personal relationships - though my husband and I are definitely welded together now by commitment to the beautiful life we have created - the amazing places our kids and our relationships with them will take us. I am swelling with pride, tears in my eyes right now, because my Enzo said today that he loves that I "make a comfy home". I do everything for my kids. I have gone to extreme measures in the past for my Olivia (again, we were alone). There are / were adults who don't understand my motives - would prefer that their needs are met. I don't care. They are adults; they can suck it up - own up to their mistakes / shortcomings. I've had to do the same, and it is NOT pretty. I mean - ouch - but you'll be better for it.

I am multi-degreed but will wear a low-cut shirt if I feel like it or put some self-tanner on my legs (does not make me any less cerebral - heck - I may even over apply the lipsticky, which, for some reason, is only acceptable "in certain circles" if you're one of two extremes - wearing a Lily Pulitzer floral or happen to be a tough rockabilly, roller derby girl). I am moral and uphold ethics in my work, my family life and in how I deal with anyone I meet yet I might swear now and then - I might not worry so much if someone has a baby before marriage or chooses a relationship that suits him or her though not me or, for example, someone's opinionated conservative mother (to illustrate my point in a really strange but universal way). I garden and buy organic - nurse my babies past a year old and do not like medications that numb or sedate me or my baby in any way (personal preference - those who need to be sedated - you do what you need to do :-), but... I will always go to a hospital over a home birth or a midwife center (though love and respect midwives - albeit in a medical setting - I have lately been harshly judged for this revelation). Too many lives lost over the years to lack of medical intervention, in my opinion. My baby would have died during my first birth without medical intervention, and I would have died during my second - and, no, I will not be elaborating now. Part of my point is this: respect what you hear - what you see - what you feel. Know that others feel differently and are entitled to without explanation.

So... really -reach out - open your mind - accept others - TRY to make a new friend each week - not just for you but for others too. This world needs to be a kinder, gentler place right now, and I just don't see it heading that way. Maybe a little nudge .... (albeit a bitchy one from me)..... Everyone you meet will be (or should be) a sincere study in extremes.... don't try to figure it all out - maybe just try to absorb and listen. That's what I'm attempting these days.... though most often we all want to discuss and disclose (also human nature - and something to really enjoy - give and take, right?).

Photo: Me - laughing it all off....(holding one of my best friends - my camera ;-). And - again, hope this makes sense... I write pretty quickly and off the cuff, preferring to spend my time with my lovelies and my own personal interests (which is something we all share, right?). To all - I REALLY do appreciate your stories, your contributions to my blog via email, Facebook or whatever. Keep it all coming!

NOTHING like warm cookies....or Parsley.....

Serene rainy morning (well as serene as it can be with all the old valentines spilled out on the dining room table - little ones wanting to feed fish, color with markers, play the Wii, help me unload dishwasher or get in the shower - all at the same time :-) - some yoga with the youngests - hanging out - organizing - playing - working on a number train puzzle - savoring moments - baking cookies, obviously (and preparing for Big Daddy M's Beer Batter Fish Fry again tonight - becoming sort of a Lenten family tradition) - painted my toenails black (cuz I am wearing my flip flops outside already - any warmer and I'm in bare feet!). Splashed A LOT outside yesterday - muddy, muddy, muddy but fun (looks like sun is out so maybe more of that today) - Lil started gymnastics (older gym intimidated her a bit... may try infant / toddler gym next week - though we did "have fun", as she says, jumping and dancing as she says it :-). Olivia starts lacrosse soon, and we've just signed the boys into baseball... a "training camp" that looks fun. Gotta stay active, right?

Saw a scary but "happy ending" segment on the Today Show this morning and would like to share an article (and then, of course, I'll pontificate a bit). Given the fact that Milo and Lil LOVE baths and both will take two a day or MORE if I let them (they like to play and swim ;-) - I found this story interesting. How many of us will leave the bathroom to check on a boiling pot downstairs for 60 sec. or go to the bedroom to lay out PJs? In that time, a toddler can drown - and they do so silently - no splashing - no crying.... Worth a read. See - that wasn't so bad.... no lecture here :-).

In fact, what does everyone have going on this weekend? I have a support event for Haiti tonight, play date for Enzo on Sat., chauffeuring a get together with Olivia's friends Sat. night, and...hopefully some outdoor stuff if it isn't too rainy and / or downtime with hubby (and... we missed out on the They Might Be Giants kids' show tickets... if anyone knows where to get any - ???). Thanks, all, for sharing your stories of tantrums (in response to mine :-) via email, Facebook, Blogger - whatever - ALWAYS appreciate the support. In fact, maybe I will get on a soapbox long enough to just say that it should probably become regular practice for all of us to continue reaching out to others. I know a few people expecting babies now, and it has made me sort of reminisce about that time in my life.I keep hearing people with little ones, new babies, etc. talking about how they're looking forward to the pool - or the summer, in general, and... I get a little sad. At that time, for me, I did not have a lot of support from family - quite the opposite. Also, I had so many babies so fast - right on the heels of working fulltime and during my Dad's battle with cancer that I often felt very alone. Milo was a high-maintenance baby, making play groups and Mommy and Me Yoga no longer possible (and I always felt bad for Enzo about that because he liked the interaction). I just remember going to the pool and sitting alone - or shopping with all the babies and no Mom or sister-in-law or anyone to bond with - I even did fundraisers for my daughter's school but did so alone because no one really knew me well or those who did, worked and couldn't help. Most of my new friends and acquaintances in the neighborhood had other better friends, and I ... well... just had a hard time reaching out or connecting. It's different now, but any connections I did manage to make or anytime someone reached out even just to help me with my stroller, well.... it all meant a lot to me :-). Food for thought....

My final word? Check out the Serious Eats blog (again - on my blog list below) - a little piece on parsley. Most of us think of it as a garnish or part of a recipe, but it is FULL of vitamins - literally like taking a multi-vitamin a day if you use it often.