Redemption: An Update

This morning found me and my three little ones lying in a tangle of quilts and sheets on our "big bed". Enzo had wandered down first just after Daddy left for work. He woke Olivia for me - who needed to get up, grab a day old donut, find a clean towel and head to swim practice. With the two little ones still fast asleep, she got a ride from her "bestie" this am .. the pool is only a few minutes away. Tonight, Edgewood swims against old rival, Forest Hills, who is now in a different league, so... it's a fun meet. Just back from practice, Olivia tells me she is swimming the wet t-shirt relay and a combo of back and breast stroke in another event (other highlights will include an "underwater breast stroke" and a "corkscrew" event - should be fun). Anyway ..... The two little ones finally got up. Milo grabbed his milk and lay down next to me and Enzo... then... we saw Lil's messy head appear at the foot of the bed. We are calm today - eating toast and jelly - drinking juice and coffee - watching an old Harry Potter (and I LOVE Harry Potter and JK Rowling - that whole series has followed Olivia perfectly - saw the first one in kindergarten with her.... will keep watching as they come out) - will buy a book later for a friend's b-day party tomorrow.

Yesterday worked out OK. Olivia and a friend worked out with me at the gym - little ones loved the play area so much, they didn't want to leave. We did a fast food lunch, guilt-free (and, yes, I realize we are all about the junk food this week, AND, NO - I did not partake - while I am not going entirely low fat, I am not doing junk - but, M, if you're still reading this summer, I need some of your much-missed "monkey platters"!!) then just like totally tackled the afternoon. They helped me weed the vegetable garden - wash the van's dirty, dirty floor mats - straighten the basement a bit - clean the tv room... THEN, we made lemonade, popped popcorn and got a movie going. In that zen-like state of organization and cool calm, we decided to go outside and play. They like running around and attempting their version of tag with the neighbors OR a pretend play that I can't really follow (all good - I don't want to follow - quite like it when they find that imaginative, parent-free "zone"). On my mobile with my Mom, I ended up tailing Lilliana as she ran after the others down the street - to the neighbor's on the corner where the kids tackled the swingset then ran inside to play. I ended up getting to know my neighbors a little better over guacamole, wine and ice water. We were asked to dinner, but I didn't think Milo would eat salmon and pesto - though it looked yummy, yummy, yummy. I thought I was going to spend a long boring evening waiting for hubby who was working late, but, instead, I had conversation with a nice couple who I usually only see in passing or at our block party. Cool.

In hindsight, I think that using a firm hand (or voice, rather) in the morning DID establish some control. I find it interesting that the "hard labor" we engaged in as a family led to zen calm and an open demeanor that allowed for new experiences later in the day. As you know, I lean towards free-range - though, I am a worrier so will NOT, for example, let my two year run down the street after the older kids. I WILL go with her. My four year old often fashions dangerous looking toys out of rope and semi-sharp weapon-like objects from the house; points for ingenuity, but... I will NOT let him play with them (most of the time) - take a picture - choose a safe toy. I mean I don't get nuts with the worry, but... I do, for example, thoroughly wash the potential salmonella off Enzo's hands after he helps me make eggs - I let Milo push the coffee grinder button but then put it waaaay out of reach so the temptation to work on it himself does not present itself. Within reason, I let them explore. And.... if any of you have read some of my comments / posts on the free range blog, I do not mind indoor play (love the zip line at my kids' gymnastics studio - dig indoor climbing walls - do not see a problem with sand and water tables, etc.) like some "free-rangers" do. I also am not a fan of sending my little ones anywhere when they have to navigate dangerous streets. And, in my opinion, they are all dangerous. On my quiet little urban street, people regularly run the stop sign, so... Digressing. I feel a post for later a'comin' ;-). Stay tuned.

Actually slept well last night. I have implemented some of the advice I was given (some involving chamomile tea and dealing with my worries WHILE I workout - both of which I did yesterday - which is probably why I reported tears on the treadmill during one of my responses to you all - and thanks for all that, btw, S & T - thanks, A, for showing me YOUR crazy eyes in person - thanks for supportive texts too - you know who you are :-) - AND... quick retail note here - I love, love, love my Bath and Body Works pillow spray in the Warm Milk and Honey scent - thanks, kiddies, from Mother's Day). Anyway.... starting to get my worries under control (and they range from the odd - like not finishing photo albums or thinking about a lost toy to irrational thoughts about camp, school uniform and other expenses that I know we can easily handle, but... I don't like how money flows out of the house like water at times....). This week, I may snap again since hubby is off to New York for a photo shoot, but... I'm working on it, as we all are, right?

So ... off I go - chocolate milk for Enzo, steamer for Olivia, apple for Milo and grapes for Lil. I need to buy a vat of laundry detergent to get through the piles of laundry in this house, and .... I'm OK with that :-). Ebb and flow... ebb and flow.....

Photos: More summer zen - all at grandma's house a week or so ago.