03 July 2010

Happy 4th of July!

Once again, faced with a holiday that used to mean sparklers, picnic, friends and family. And... yet again, am picturing my Dad with his beloved Olivia - playing in the yard, eating side by side. I will see my Mom tomorrow, and Enzo couldn't be more excited to see grandma. The holiday will be different, though. Already know there is something planned for when we leave (I'm trying not to take it personally - probably one of my brothers and family I don't know), but... I will enjoy my visit with Mom - keep it brief so I don't cause any stress. Maybe I'll even buy some sparklers :-).

I am, admittedly, a little blue. Watching a mother, son and grandson stroll by - three generations - littlest one cozy in his stroller. We don't have that now. In fact, hubby's family asked me to stay away from an upcoming dinner in DC. His one sister often asks that of me. For some reason, she just doesn't like me and, off and on, she has support from the others on that - depends on how lucid she is ;-) whether they listen or not (last year, at this time, they were doing an "intervention" with her and a life coach :-). So... we'll do our own thing - pick up the cousin who needs to come to town when we are told. It's how it always goes. It is fine.

Tonight, I am on my own. Olivia babysitting. Hubby at a bbq (I had planned to make Asian lemon chicken and order a movie since we couldn't find a babysitter, but... hubby informed me that he would be going anyway. His friends... oh well - and, in his defense, one of us should go to this event for other reasons... nice guy... hard times over the past year or more... right thing to do... plus they are longtime band buddies with recent good fortune and happiness to celebrate, respectively - just me being holiday blue ;-). I have restless kids - wild from a late day at the pool and a lot of milling around while I ran errands. I should just let it go... not mention any of it.... blow it off, but... I can't. I feel RIPPED OFF. Can't help it. Just do. As usual, making the best of it all...

Plan to eat curry chicken salad on whole grain, drink my fave carrot apple juice, watch Run Fatboy Run and tackle the unfortunate tasks of dishwasher emptying, laundry and yard clean-up (oh yeah - I really am that boring). They say there will be days like these... apparently many days like these....;-).

I will end by naming 5 positive things in order to get back on track: our fish tank is clean, I have lost 4 lbs, I've found an organization solution for all my kids' scrapbook stuff, I have high school forms to fill out that will occupy me tonight (we OCD types love that), my mother in law is in NY (and, therefore, not down the street from me ;-). Harsh. Don't judge me; I'm lonely tonight.

Wishing you all companionship, rest and happy memories this weekend.


Facie said...

So I am curious: does your hubby ever ask his sister what her beef is? I hope he at least defends you.

My husband is not very family-oriented towards my relatives (with some good reason, but mostly just b/c that is not his thing). At times, my brothers say negative things about him. If what they say is true (e.g., how sad it is that he is not willing to spend more time with them/visit), I let it go. But if they cross a line or say something that he does that I don't have a problem with, I speak up.

I hate to keep score, but just this year, I decided not to send my one sis in law a b'day card (I did call her). She forgets his b'day, which is almost two months before hers, most years, so I figured I could at least save the time and few bucks by not getting her a card. But I say nothing.

Hope your 4th was nice.

Mendy said...

The higher road is always more difficult and nobody else can see it..you do such a good job of trying to work with really unreasonable and crazy people. Not crazy in the good way.
I hope you guys have a good trip.

Sherri said...

Unfortunately, hubby's sister and mother are two of the most difficult people I've ever met. And... it's not just a mother in law issue like a lot of us have - it is just being subjected to crazy whims, hearing awful crass things about myself and others, terrible aggressive behavior.... They both have trouble with others in their lives as well, so... it's not just me ... younger sister follows suit when she is being bullied, which is most of the time. I have a friend who is a family therapist, and, at one time, she spent a lot of time with our little ones (now she is back to working full time - has older kids), but... she was shocked, most of the time, at what she observed. A sample of the extreme crazy? MY mother in law forbidding me to come into her house to get my infant son - calling me all sorts of names in Spanish from her front steps - because she wanted to have a lunch with her grandchildren and daughters without me (I thought I had been invited). She had been babysitting for us (my husband used to insist). When asked to explain her bahavior, she said I was a "gringa punta" - basically, her name for all women she doesn't like - we're all sluts. I cried that day. Sample of the more simply annoying behavior... For the Christmas gift exchange one year, his sister gave me a Pampered Chef coupon in her name - not wrapped, etc. When I gave her a brand new Vera Bradley lunch bag and a wine she likes, she accused me of saving a bottle she had brought us once and "regifting" her. My punishment? She took my 3 year old's stuffed Nemo present from my mother in law as "payment". He cried that day. No one helped me. Wait... I guess those are all crazy stories... Anyway...;-). Hubby is aware, but their behavior is so extreme, if he intervenes, he may get a slap - his mother may call him everyday at work to cry and yell for a week - who knows.... Geez, Facie, just realized that if I didn't answer your question, I did probably scare you ;-). Sorry.

Thanks, both of you, for your supportive comments!!!!

I mean my family has issues, but they are your typical "sweep them under the rug", more "polite" issues ;-).

I do realize I'm using the winking emoticon like punctuation here. Sorry...

And special shout out to my cousin, Cindy Lou Who, for the chat :-).

Sherri said...

OK - I have tried two times to reply here.... No luck. This is my last... Thanks guys, for the supportive comments (and, Facie, I did answer your question, so.. will see if it finally posts :-). This may appear 3X, but... special shout out to Cindy Lou Who for much appreciated chat the other night.....;-).

Sherri said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sherri said...

OK - my last comment - though different than the first two - appeared 3X, so... I removed them so that I do not look like a crazy person. We'll see if my previous posts actually appear... one was kinda juicy ;-). Anyway... going to give blogger a break now.... seems to be having some issues. See ya!