16 March 2010

What a difference a visit makes!



So ... hubby and I don't get a lot of family visitors - never have. The whole genesis of our relationship, apparently, had some family members confused and wondering how two such offbeat creative types with such checkered pasts could EVER form a life together (lots of speculation on how we make our money or why we had so many kids - makes us giggle - Other confrontations leave us frustrated or baffled) - others are going through "stuff" on their own and they are inaccessible, for lack of a better word, most holidays, birthdays, family events (a shame because they will regret such absence) - others plan their own events and outings, often "forgetting" to notify us in the shuffle (and we're not too weirded out by it since this dynamic existed respectively for both of us since we were, at least, teenagers) - our fathers are no longer with us, sadly - so... we never know when support will come - when happy, fun family get-togethers will truly be just that... fun and happy - it is something that is always in the backs of our minds (a slight sadness - at times, an annoyance) - we are grateful when we do get our infrequent visitors (my brother and his girlfriend or hubby's sister and family are often with us for good times - my Dad's family is supportive as are hubby's cousins).

My kids adore my mother - Olivia has a long, close past with her - Enzo shares a similar temperament and affinity for order and organization - Milo likes the attention - and Lilliana is just always up for a new experience or friend (and she does bond with my Mom - one funny moment occurred in a bookstore when Lilliana vehemently shooed me away so that Grandma could sit next to her on a little story hour bench). They do love her. Over Christmas, my Mom was with us, and we were so happy about it. We had not spent a Christmas morning with her in years. She read to Enzo fireside, brought heirloom jewelry for Olivia (that meant a lot to her), held Milo a lot and talked to him softly (which he needs now and then), took short chilly walks outside with Lilliana, helped us bake all our cookies and prepare Christmas dinner - and she brought all sorts of fun stuff like a house that lights up and the story of The Night Before Christmas (epic poem, actually). We laid out cookies for Santa, we went shopping, we watched movies (Julie and Julia a favorite this particular season), we went to church, we sprinkled reindeer food on the front lawn Christmas Eve, we hosted other family members for wine, hot cider and snacks - we had fun! I know she gave up other invitations and defied others to focus on my kids for a bit, so we are very grateful for that. The kids showered her with gifts (many from Santa's Treasure Shop at school - proudly chosen and presented :-) and with attention. As another holiday approaches, we hope, as we extend invitations, etc., that a similar situation will present for us. If not, we still have us, right? Thank you, Mom - you'll never know how much your visits mean to me - to all of us.

Happy St. Patrick's Day! Tomorrow... that is... just don't know where the day / week will take me... so will say it when I can :-).

2 comments:

Kim said...

Good to see your Mom and hear about your memory-making holiday with her! Your blog always makes me want to go make cookies or sit by the fire. :) Yes, it has been cold enough for that this year! Would love to write more, but duties call.

joely said...

Sometimes I think when it just us (the 5 of us) it is serene and intimate. Do not get me wrong I love the big family and all that it offers but the quiet solitude of just your family can be just as wonderful. So if it just the 6 of you enjoy every crazy, out of whack moment and know that that someday you get to be the Mom who visits for fire chats and you get to keep your mothers memory and traditions alive.