17 March 2010

She REALLY should make those kids behave!

I know there are a lot of sympathetic people out there, but when you've had to deal with the string of tantrums I have today, you do feel a bit shamed and ostracized. OK - please stop me if I begin to ramble (oh - I just made myself laugh - I know you couldn't stop me even if you were in front of me with a bat threatening to smash my computer - and, ladies from afar, that is not an invitation to do so - you know who you are ;-).... OK - so scratch that - let's go with "ramble alert"....

I look forward to my one on one mornings with my kiddies. Today - was Milo's day. Not a great start... When we dropped Lil at her play group, he chased her into the bathroom, growling (I'm told she spent a good deal of the morning needing to be held and comforted - great - either she's traumatized or a future Oscar contender - of course, I prefer the latter). Gymnastics was a disaster. The teacher (his beloved Miss Beth) said "hello" and he dropped to the mat, face first and didn't move. Since I have to still do "Mommy and Me" with him (believe it or not, he will not go in on his own), I tried to pick him up, but he was, of course, limp. I got him to his feet, whispered something threatening in his ear (take the Wii away - no outside play on this beautiful day - something....) and tried to hoist him towards the other kids. No go. When it came time to do his favorite event - bars, he got happy for about 5 min. (one turn, basically), then.... I did something wrong when I spotted him (keep in mind, because I did coach his age, I do make him behave and do the trick properly - no one needs to get hurt) and the growling started again - the careening from side to side (he even does this awful like circus trick where he makes it look like, when I go to grab him, that I've somehow thrown him to the mat - those close to us are aware of this maneuver - those who don't know us... I mean who knows what they think, ya know?), so... to keep everyone involved safe and in good spirits, we left (besides, there was this poor kid trying to decide if he wanted to go in and do the class... and... I mean - probably not with the Tasmanian Devil careening about).

The post office went about the same (and I was DETERMINED to get done what I needed to - tired of going home and cowering) - DSW (I broke a pair of my cherished flip flops - needed new ones - STAT) was OK - he hid from me and did cartwheels - went through a security door looking for the bathroom - also "picked out" an armful of "beautiful" shoes "for Mommy", but... not bad (really - this is OK in my world because he's happy - active and spazzy, but happy - it's the "Mad Milo" that I find so upsetting). Trader Joe's. Ugh. By this time, we had Lil, and... I did that silly thing we all do (you know you do) whereby I bring in one bag in which I plan to put in my "items for dinner and maybe one treat" - of course, I come out 45 min. later with my one responsible, environmentally friendly bag and five other paper ones - FULL of who knows what.... Oh - and balloons (speaking of circus tricks). Anyway, I made the mistake of unhooking Lil from her carseat myself and... that did it. He could do it - he was a big boy - why do I always help him...... And it continued inside the store. In appropriately Milo / Jekyll and Hyde fashion, he would, helpfully, grab our bananas, organic apple juice (all my little ones know our "regular stuff" to buy), milk... then, he would flip out and run or lay down or yell - then.... Lil got into the act. I had to continually threaten to take away the highly coveted organic lollies - a trip to the playground - a turn feeding the fish when we got home - ANYTHING I could think of that was important enough to them so that if it was TAKEN AWAY, they would be prompted to good behavior (and this is almost always after sweet-talking them and asking them to be my "super special helpers" and offering all sorts of fun stuff when we get home - I really do try that first - the "what's wrong?" / reward system - I can be nice :-). Awful. Embarassing (and it didn't help that a former member from the Mother's Group I so miserably failed at... well... I don't really care.... but she was there, staring - AND, in gym class earlier, a similar situation had presented itself in the form of a chatty "I know her" - type acquaintance who likes to explain Milo to those who don't know me. Awesome).

I wouldn't feel so bad - I wouldn't be driven to tears IF.. I didn't have to admit that it does look like my kids don't have manners - that they walk all over me - that I don't care what people around me think - and worse.... ugh... much worse... that I'm a bad mother. I keep saying "haha - my two oldests are SO calm" (and they are, right?) OR - "naptime" (good God -these two haven't napped in MONTHS - one of them YEARS!!! Who am I kidding?). This is all karmic retribution from way back when I, then childless, would judge and judge and judge. I'm serious - I was terrible.

Anyway.... glad I'm home ... Coffee anyone?

5 comments:

joely said...

that is a very complex day. I dont even know what to say and if any words words would make you feel better. But here it goes...other than this blog; what is your vice? Everyone has one, that one thing that calms them down. Running? well I run 50 miles a week but i still need 4 cigs a day. It is my vice. Not a healthy one but hell it should not be healthy all the time. Everything in moderation I always say.

I am going to coffee tree at 430 if you really want a cup of coffee but I will have my baby with me.

Sherri said...

Would love to... ALWAYS dependent on my Olivia and her homework and / or other school and friend-related plans, so... might be able to sneak away... otherwise, DEFINITELY some other time. Coffee a surefire vice for me (and needed today - I am on the computer so much cuz I am working on a preliminary writing proposal for a potential client, so.. that too). Glad to hear about the ciggies... odd choice of words, I realize, but... I, too, used to run - not 50 miles, Ms. Marathoner, but 20 a week - took other kickboxing & aerobic classes and even taught modern dance and... still needed the ciggies...... Now - it's just when I go out.... which is... um... well....

Kim said...

Wow...what a day! I remember that feeling of "I AM going to get my shopping accomplished" and then having one of my kids take the paint off the walls in the store! Of course, I still am a firm believer in not giving in because they learn quick how to manipulate you out of your errands. Before I had kids, I would see parents losing it with their kids and feel bad for the kids. Now that I have had toddlers, I give an empathetic smile or "been there" comment to the parent and think to myself, "That kid had it comin'." :)

Kim said...

Regarding my last comment...please don't take it the wrong way...I don't empathize with the crazies that smack their kid across the face at Walmart. I just see Mom's huffing around in frustration differently since I have been in their shoes. Shopping is much more peaceful now that my kids are old enough to take no for an answer!

Sherri said...

Totally get what you mean, Kim - I helped a frazzled grandmother literally wrestle her wild grand-daughter out of gymnastics last semester, and... did not judge when she spoke harshly to the child or just threw her shoes in the backseat. I was like - "been there - hope your days improves - want me to throw her coat back there too?" Kid had it comin' :-).