With a letter comes the sign I need ....

As we all prepare for Olivia's confirmation tomorrow, the pace seems to get more and more hectic. This is a big deal for the eighth grade class. I have family coming in so I'm cooking, shopping Whole Foods for baguettes and fruit tarts, ordering lunch for the class and baking them cookies for after their "practice" tomorrow, picking out just the perfect little diamond stud earrings as a remembrance gift for Olivia. Olivia is getting her nails done, fixing her hair again and again - Marcello took the day off..

I am a spiritual person - I'm always looking for signs of an after life - always looking for signs that those I love who are no longer here have somehow stayed in spirit or presence. I expect my kids to remain in service to others - their community and their earth for their entire lives. I want them to be kind, giving and respectful with everyone. I was raised Catholic and feel culturally and sentimentally attached to the faith -though am really not sure how I feel about organized religion, in general. I also often ask for my Dad to guide me. He was a devoted Catholic with a strong faith, in general. During our last spiritual journey as a family - Lilliana's Baptism, I was feeling particularly vulnerable, having endured a family member's wrath just before the big event and really .... just missing my Dad. I asked hard for my Dad's presence - point blank asked him to guide me that day - all day. Prayed - some would say. As a result, my phone rang all day - even unplugged, it would produce a shaky, odd ring - and when answered, a crackly line. The only other time it did this was the week after he died. He was there. I did feel him. And... I've been asking for a sign from him again as we approach this milestone. Olivia is taking his mother's name (Veronica) as her confirmation name, and he would want to be there.

Today, Olivia came home with an anonymous letter to the priest at church but with a little note to forward it to my Olivia. In the envelope was one of the prayer cards that had been handed out at church with the confirmation candidates' names on them. This one had her name on it - like the others. The letter - on plain white paper - detailed how this anonymous person had prayed for Olivia by name for months - how he / she had prayed for her family to be bestowed with blessings - how we should all remember to be kind to others and to endure the cruel - to pray for those less fortunate.... It was beautiful - and it was signed "a fellow pilgrim". It made her principal cry. It has Olivia, who never saves anything, folding it carefully and keeping it safe, an interesting phenomenon :-). I remarked that it was nice that people had done this for the confirmation class. Olivia told me that hers was the only letter - that no one had done this in recent years - that the priest was happily astounded - and it had come today. It was the ONLY letter - for years.

I have my sign. My Dad is watching.