Ma Maison

First - I'll just say now - I am restless and spazzy - my brain goes a mile a minute. I'm sure most of you already know that. Anyway - therefore..... I am not good with "vacations", so... like it or not - I'm back.

Some musings "sur ma maison" (in a different vein from the other day - i.e. no rants - promise - and by "my house" - I mean even my familial house so to speak - my kids, hubby, etc. - how WE are .... not just the mortar and brick in which we live :-):

As you know, I love it when the house smells like bacon and coffee - just feels like "us" - whatever that means - our morning - our chaos - our familiar. The boys are watching Indiana Jones (again - and I'm OK with that) - Lilliana is silly and wants to hang with me (though it may just be because she is interested in my rippy, holey sweatshirt - playing with it as I type) - Olivia and Marcello have gone skiing despite the looming snowstorm (I'm sure we'll be fine ;-).

Dinner party last night in honor of Olivia. Buffet style - lots of conversation and fun - wine, food, coffee, treats, family and friends. I am now trapped without a car in a house full of yummy leftovers like casseroles, sweet french ham (giggles as I remember a photo of Marcello in front of the Maison du Jambon in Paris - during a trip with valued friends who we were lucky enough to see last night!), flourless chocolate cake, berries, roasted herbed veggies..... I even have some fresh pressed carrot juice with which I can make a favorite carrot, orange, apple, ginger, sparkling soda "cocktail" (yeah - I did a "juice bar" of sorts last night too).

I love wandering the house when the vases are filled with roses and tulips and the night lights are still on from the night before - remnants of a big event still hang around like Olivia's blue and white confirmation dress draped across her retro '60's chair in her bedroom - a pile of gloves and scarves (discarded in a rush to find proper ski gear) in front of our bedroom armoire - gift bags and cards on the hall table - wine glasses on the corner cafe table in the dining room.

Today, gathering clothes for the day for my 5, 4 and 2 yr olds - I lingered in their third floor bedrooms - sort of drinking in that early morning, covers still rumpled, humidifier still humming, morning light still dim - feeling. In Lil's room, Raggedy Ann doll was slumped in the corner - the Winnie the Pooh print with promises of 100 year friendship was a little crooked on the wall above the peaked window in the alcove (and I remember this from when Olivia was small) - lots of teacups and saucers were strewn about on the fuzzy white carpet... Similarly, in the boys' room, a red car night light was glowing - stuffed jungle animals lay on the floor next to both beds - one of Enzo's masterpieces was flopped over on his dresser - Milo's sea creatures were in position on his bedside table - and an Eric Carle book lay on the striped carpet. It occurs to me on these days that this is "it" - what I've always wanted. I mean, for most of my life, I didn't picture myself married OR with kids, but I did picture being somewhere safe - feeling love from someone special even if he wasn't in the room with me - I wanted to be surrounded with familiar, comfortable pieces of a life well-lived. This old house and these people in it really do it for me :-)! And I know we'll have some cranky today - we'll shiver outside watching snow long past the time we should - we'll probably argue over what book to read - I'll eat bananas and mac n cheese (again) just like the kiddies - we may attempt a fragmented game of checkers or chess ;-) or some not so meditative yoga, but... it'll be great.

Photo: A few years ago (2?) - a family portrait, pre-Lilliana (actually, on the way) - love how browsing my photos reminds me of our constant change and motion....:-).