Things that surprise me ...

... personally, that is. I mean - none of this has any bearing on everyday life, really.... or maybe it does - you judge....

When you are confronted with one of your husband's "exes", and, instead of feeling a little jealousy pang or a bit of curiosity regarding who she is, how they knew each other - whatever... you find yourself horrified ... disgusted even - wondering WHERE the appeal ever was in so many ways ... wishing she was more interesting, attractive, etc. and less obnoxious, vulgar, slovenly, etc. This REALLY surprised me, and... made me feel bad. Who am I to judge, right?

When you know people who are going through so much - losing loved ones, dealing with an illness themselves, etc. - and they have the stamina, grace, fortitude - whatever it takes - to confront the issue and move along like life is still OK. I mean, I know they have to - and I've experienced this on some levels myself - but such monumental life confrontations like leaving behind children - going through a recently deceased loved ones' belongings - Oh ... the list goes on... it just kills me. I wish I could help sometimes when I hear these stories - know somebody going through it - but sometimes life is a solitary journey, and some things must be dealt with alone. Amazing. Awe-inspiring.

When you've hit the proverbial "rock bottom" and found that the cliche is true - that you do bounce back stronger, happier and more confident than ever, it can be quite life-changing. When I compare my current frame of mind with where I was - let's just say "recently" - I have to say, I'm 1000 percent committed to never letting ANYONE make me feel the way I was made to feel - back then - a year ago - two years ago .....

So that's it - all I have right now. The Yin and the Yang of my observations on this topic - something light - something heavy - something in between - in terms of how all this relates or becomes relevant to everyday life.

Playing Catch-up

I'm truly having trouble getting into the swing of 2009. Don't get me wrong - happy to see it - always happy to see a new year, but.... I have so many loose ends - a lot of new household biz - family birthdays left and right - definitely can't focus right now. Let's talk later this week, agreed? Happy 2009, all.

My mind now is touching on - but not staying on - so many random things lately: the sweet little striped polo that my son, Enzo, wore on our first family beach trip sitting on a pile of Salvation Army bags in the late 2008 snow - discarded - sniff (my nostalgia clouded for a moment the fact that someone in need could use that little shirt) - the space in our hall where the piano used to sit and where our oldest daughter, Olivia, once practiced piano as a sweet little grade schooler (she's now a distant middle schooler and some guy named Butch has already moved and dismantled the piano for $50). See? I'm in no shape to write.

"Talk" soon .....

Happy New Year

Welcome 2009!

A Return to the "Zen"....

I know I'm being extremely negligent in not getting back to my recipe promises. I've heard from people with Thanksgiving success stories (definitely listen to Bon Appetit and salt rather than brine the turkey, for example) and some not so successful endeavors (a dense corn pudding will not cook through when sharing the oven with sweet potatoes and stuffing, for another example). I think my brainstorm to include all holiday recipe recaps together after Christmas will work best. Again - I need some holiday shopping stories as well. Or - do you have an opinion on the current state of the economy and evidence for or against the glum predictions or hopeful news that prices are coming down (where? I see free shipping - I see sale items - in general, on the stuff I want, no price markdowns - still the same ... but that's my off the cuff two cents).....???

Anyway, I think, in the spirit of, yes, the holidays and the usual ensuing reflection that occurs, but also in the spirit of the chaos that reigns prevalent in households with ... well.... I was going to say kids, but.... any household - really at the holidays..... that I will provide a quick rant in favor of the simple life. Or - a simple thought process for once - something.... Here's what I mean.... I remember when I used to get up in the morning, dress all in black, choose carefully between my riding boots and my combat boots, put on the same hat, scarf, gloves and coat combo, and... head to class - or work - or out - whatever - everyday. My friends and I smoked cigarettes, drank coffee at crappy, cool little coffee shops - straight up or just milk and sugar (which is pretty bare bones now - given all the treats people pour into their coffee now) - we either went to class or we didn't - we either worked late or we didn't. I cut my hair when I wanted to - dyed it too - never an "appropriate" color - but I did it - stress-free (once it looked green - another time "like a penny" in the wise words of my roommate - but it was all good ... no worries). I don't do anything stress-free anymore. Even Facebook gives me pause. Am I following protocol? Do I look "normal" or even remotely successful next to "everybody else" (whoever that is, right?).

I guess I'm tired of sorting mail - filing investment papers - following up on school tuition. And... I'm tired of organizing clothing - what goes to Goodwill - what did the kids outgrow - what did they get for their birthdays that needs to go in their armoires. I'm also tired of deciding such mundane (and OMG - odd) things like which towels are worthy to keep - do I need to buy all new kitchen towels to look even remotely organized or - yikes - clean? We prune hedges, build retaining walls and mow the lawn, organize and prioritize Halloween treat baskets, Christmas decorations and even dishes and silverware - the "to do" list goes on.... Storage is an issue - accessibility another - and necessity is... well ..... out the window - true organization and utility gone. Where is the Zen in the house? I'm looking.... I'm working.... Maybe I'm just not good at it.

Happy Thanksgiving

I'm taking some time to work with my "design" a bit, and I'm, "researching" in order to post a forum on what Thanksgiving recipes worked for me - for others - what didn't, etc. (after all, we still have a lot of holiday parties, dinners, etc. coming up) - All this inspired, by the way, by our happy success with the new recipes we tried in our family this holiday..... Anyway - I'm going to be a bit "delayed" in posting anything of interest or lengthy but... wanted to say "happy holidays" to all. Post-season, I'm already thinking... it would be great to get some "what worked" - "what didn't" shopping reports (thus far - for me - electronics bargains great - Nordstrom doing a sale on Black Friday - unheard of! - and.... Whole Foods seems to have come down in price - ???? So... hopefully... everyone is thinking, shopping, etc. (particularly "thinking", etc. - given this shaky economy :(. Must go ... the babies are restless (another holiday phenomenon, eh?)....