15 January 2009

Things that surprise me ...

... personally, that is. I mean - none of this has any bearing on everyday life, really.... or maybe it does - you judge....

When you are confronted with one of your husband's "exes", and, instead of feeling a little jealousy pang or a bit of curiosity regarding who she is, how they knew each other - whatever... you find yourself horrified ... disgusted even - wondering WHERE the appeal ever was in so many ways ... wishing she was more interesting, attractive, etc. and less obnoxious, vulgar, slovenly, etc. This REALLY surprised me, and... made me feel bad. Who am I to judge, right?

When you know people who are going through so much - losing loved ones, dealing with an illness themselves, etc. - and they have the stamina, grace, fortitude - whatever it takes - to confront the issue and move along like life is still OK. I mean, I know they have to - and I've experienced this on some levels myself - but such monumental life confrontations like leaving behind children - going through a recently deceased loved ones' belongings - Oh ... the list goes on... it just kills me. I wish I could help sometimes when I hear these stories - know somebody going through it - but sometimes life is a solitary journey, and some things must be dealt with alone. Amazing. Awe-inspiring.

When you've hit the proverbial "rock bottom" and found that the cliche is true - that you do bounce back stronger, happier and more confident than ever, it can be quite life-changing. When I compare my current frame of mind with where I was - let's just say "recently" - I have to say, I'm 1000 percent committed to never letting ANYONE make me feel the way I was made to feel - back then - a year ago - two years ago .....

So that's it - all I have right now. The Yin and the Yang of my observations on this topic - something light - something heavy - something in between - in terms of how all this relates or becomes relevant to everyday life.

1 comment:

Emily said...

This may or may not relate. I was talking to a coworker who flew home from Florida yesterday with his 18-month-old son, alone (Mom stayed behind for a meeting). They had three seats to themselves that gave his son some room to squirm. He said if it had been a full plane, he couldn't have done it. I said: You could have done it. It would have been really hard. But you could have done it. Sometimes we surprise ourselves.