Things that surprise me ...

... personally, that is. I mean - none of this has any bearing on everyday life, really.... or maybe it does - you judge....

When you are confronted with one of your husband's "exes", and, instead of feeling a little jealousy pang or a bit of curiosity regarding who she is, how they knew each other - whatever... you find yourself horrified ... disgusted even - wondering WHERE the appeal ever was in so many ways ... wishing she was more interesting, attractive, etc. and less obnoxious, vulgar, slovenly, etc. This REALLY surprised me, and... made me feel bad. Who am I to judge, right?

When you know people who are going through so much - losing loved ones, dealing with an illness themselves, etc. - and they have the stamina, grace, fortitude - whatever it takes - to confront the issue and move along like life is still OK. I mean, I know they have to - and I've experienced this on some levels myself - but such monumental life confrontations like leaving behind children - going through a recently deceased loved ones' belongings - Oh ... the list goes on... it just kills me. I wish I could help sometimes when I hear these stories - know somebody going through it - but sometimes life is a solitary journey, and some things must be dealt with alone. Amazing. Awe-inspiring.

When you've hit the proverbial "rock bottom" and found that the cliche is true - that you do bounce back stronger, happier and more confident than ever, it can be quite life-changing. When I compare my current frame of mind with where I was - let's just say "recently" - I have to say, I'm 1000 percent committed to never letting ANYONE make me feel the way I was made to feel - back then - a year ago - two years ago .....

So that's it - all I have right now. The Yin and the Yang of my observations on this topic - something light - something heavy - something in between - in terms of how all this relates or becomes relevant to everyday life.

Playing Catch-up

I'm truly having trouble getting into the swing of 2009. Don't get me wrong - happy to see it - always happy to see a new year, but.... I have so many loose ends - a lot of new household biz - family birthdays left and right - definitely can't focus right now. Let's talk later this week, agreed? Happy 2009, all.

My mind now is touching on - but not staying on - so many random things lately: the sweet little striped polo that my son, Enzo, wore on our first family beach trip sitting on a pile of Salvation Army bags in the late 2008 snow - discarded - sniff (my nostalgia clouded for a moment the fact that someone in need could use that little shirt) - the space in our hall where the piano used to sit and where our oldest daughter, Olivia, once practiced piano as a sweet little grade schooler (she's now a distant middle schooler and some guy named Butch has already moved and dismantled the piano for $50). See? I'm in no shape to write.

"Talk" soon .....

Happy New Year

Welcome 2009!