Absent

So I started this thing with the best intentions and... have not had the time to add anything. Really - I have great ideas and great recommendations but have lately been, for lack of a much better word, preoccupied.

Normally, I would be fretting that I did manage to dress today, but.... ended up in a pair of yoga pants, my 12 year old's "so last year" school shoes from... well... literally, last year (hey - they're still in style enough for the front yard, right?), a Death Cab for Cutie t-shirt and my in bad need of a haircut (or something) hair pulled up with a nifty beaded ponytail holder. See - I would normally start with the "necessities inventory" (I'm going to need milk - organic whole for the baby - LOTS of 2% for the growing boys and my 12 year old hot chocolate-lover and... we're down to egg salad for lunch again, so... will need kid-friendly chicken nuggets - maybe some mac and cheese - me and baby still only veggie-eaters in house, so... noted that produce supply way down, etc. etc.) - then I would freak out (OMG - can't leave the house looking like this - where's my lipstick - Chanel - and it still does nothing to improve the look) - but today...... I'm, like I said, preoccupied.

My baby is going to be a year old in a few weeks. We're doing the party early - this weekend - lots of sparkly, girlie, fab cupcakes - easy "autumn lunch" menu - kids invited to wear costumes (birthday girl will be a fairy) - should be fun. Normally, I would be all over that with worry, though (what plates should I serve with - the invitation was really cool but did I get it out on time - ????). I would also be fretting and mourning certain "1st year allowances" on my end - like it's no longer OK to wear nursing pads everyday under my jogging bra (I get a little weepy when there's no more nursing babies)- it's no longer OK to still be a little chubby (um....)- the bedtime routine used to include a bath, infant lavender lotion, a heated bottle or plans to nurse - dinner used to be the pureed squash I made earlier with some steamed chicken - ALL of this noted in her baby book - the routine so comfortable.... But... I'm OK letting a lot of this go today. Odd for me.

I have been absent lately - from this blog - from my own social world - from my kids' day to day. My mind has been elsewhere. I've lost a lot of wonderful people lately. In fact, the past two years have been rough in that respect - and the past few months have been just awful for this little group of my cherished college friends with whom I often talk, visit - whatever. We're all hurting - some of us more than others - trying make sense of cancer, trying to say good-bye to people who leave this world suddenly and too young - and trying to understand why so many people, some close to us, are so mean, bully-ish or so willing to exclude others. The latter is no way to live. So - yes, the past few weeks have been hard, but I am making a conscious effort to live a little better - a little more graciously - all out of respect for those who are now gone - but.... I am also going to be harder on those people, still here, who choose to make my life or my kids' lives more difficult. For those people, I have NO time.

OK - so back on track. I have all sorts to share when it comes to house painters, preschool, looking for dinosaur masks online (you would think there would be a lot, wouldn't you?), party planning, forwarding my 12 year old daughter the Juicy Couture, Athleta, Nordstrom, etc. sale emails while I only have time to peruse recipe sites - oh - the list goes on.