A messy life, but... a good life.

Yesterday was a rough day. I mean a real doozy. My kids were fighting and crying and hitting off and on throughout the afternoon. No one wanted to play a game, do an art project or bake with me; they were content (or not - who knows?) to sit and watch PBS shows and wrestle and complain and tattle..... Late day, one slid into the Christmas tree (hmmmmm.... wonder who that was ;-) - two tried to break into the bathroom while big sis was showering - just to torment her (I remember those days from my own teen years) - no one wanted to sit and eat dinner - everyone was accusing me of favoring the other (oh - and I just love that - heavy on the sarcasm). I quickly reached the end of my rope - hands shaking, tears in my eyes, feeling sorry for myself, and yelling and acting short and nasty with everyone. Of course, late night, I felt guilty for not giving more attention to the individual "situations" and for not trying harder to engage them all in something more productive. After all, that is my job, so to speak (CEO of the home - with no executive staff).

This morning, bleary-eyed and queasy from lack of sleep (when they are that keyed up, they do not sleep well so I am up and down aaaalllll night quieting everyone - moving one from one bed to another if necessary - accompanying them to the bathroom - fetching water - I'm sure you all know the drill...), I was still feeling low. Olivia missed the bus, Milo had a pre-7am tantrum, Lil wet the bed, and Enzo was starting to get anxious about it all though reluctant to put on his own sweatshirt or shoes, so.... I had to for him (amidst all the lunch-making, school form gathering and more). Once I shook off the doom and gloom, however, I made a valiant attempt to refocus, and I think I've succeeded in doing so.

Now, I am reminded of how lucky I am. And I know I harp on this a lot, but... today, I FEEL it. I watched the sad story of brave Elizabeth Edwards and how she lost her battle with cancer yesterday. I listened to the story of her life - saw photos of the beautiful boy she lost in a car accident when he was only 16, hugging his mom - happy, freckled - sweet grade schooler - attentive teen. I remembered all the pain she has had to endure recently, and I started to think of others - friends, family - anyone remembering beloved members of the family this season, losing fathers or grandmothers or children. I thought about how we're all so desensitized these days that we get embroiled in these odd awkward "battles" with difficult family members or we pass the Salvation Army bell ringers and ignore the Community Food Bank's requests for food. We can't find it in our hearts to donate even $1 to St. Jude's Children's Research Hospital or the Make a Wish Foundation when we're buying $100 worth of merchandise at the grocery store or Williams Sonoma.

OK - off the soapbox... I think I just want to enjoy my season - my family - my life. I desperately want to give back to others (I mean that coat drive in the mall isn't just the box of coats you see every year, it is coats for kids who do NOT HAVE ANY - remember that), and I want to honor the memory of those no longer with us or help those who do not have as much by appreciating what I have and sharing what I can. I think we all want that - really. Sometimes, it is hard to refocus for that intent, but I think we're all capable.

A dance, a breakfast, and a DJ

So... the photos say it all: Olivia (and Liam) at The Pittsburgh Field Club in Fox Chapel, preparing for dinner before the Shadyside Academy Snow Ball. Nice night - chilly - snow flurries - Christmas trees and twinkling lights at the club - perfect for a winter dance. The girls were all in their tasteful, formal best - hair and nails perfect - shoes and bouquets perfectly matched - and the boys look so grown up now in suits and ties - hardly recognize these kids - and some I've known since preschool - nice seeing them all again tonight. They will have a fantastic time.

Earlier today, hit Breakfast with Santa at Oakland Catholic (big alumni event). Santa, cookies, balloons, stories with Mrs. Claus - really fun.

And.... last night.... DID go to Girltalk and had a great time (I accidentally deleted a super cool photo from my phone so enjoy what I could scare up - craaaazy show - at the new AE amphitheater on the North Side :-).

And... the erratic posts continue....

OMG - the shoppers were out today (see Starbucks photo this page ;-).

Gap is doing 40% off on Wed & Th (I am fuzzy on details) from now till Christmas (you should SEE the little outfit I got for Lil)..... Mini Boden has issued $25 and more coupons to shoppers to use by 11/30 .... Starbucks is doing a "buy one holiday drink, get one free" (stumbled onto that happy promo today - on until tomorrow..... after that.... you may have to wait a week or so.....). The deals are out there.... go get'em (and I'm serious..... suddenly, I've caught the fever. And, no, I will not get up at 5 am to stand in line, get trampled and buy a $3 appliance, but.... I will hit all my fave retail spots and keep my eyes peeled, as should you..... Too much fun to pass up :-).

Oh ... and that other photo....It is the amount of Romano cheese that Milo dumped on his pasta literally minutes ago (oh well - at least he's eating :-). While Enzo eats a proper plate of pasta with sauce and homemade meatballs (homemade by his Italian mommy - that would be me, btw :-), and Lil has a tea party upstairs with her plate o'pasta (Daddy working on our sad closet doors in our bedroom - Olivia at Light Up Night - and, yeah, you heard me right - she goes tonight while we went last night - friend with newscaster father who has interesting assignment tonight trumps us ;-), THIS is what Milo chooses to do (again, at least he's eating!!! - and he was such a super special helper for Daddy at Home Depot today :-).

Ill-advised, but... we had a good time...

Light-up night in Pittsburgh. Equal parts disaster and fun. A baaaad band played inappropriate music up until Santa, obscured by the crowd, declared that it was time to light downtown. Market Square was ugly - odd lights that blinked in such intervals that it appeared it was not lit at all. Delectable food smells enticed us, but... alas - long lines kept us from partaking. The kids did see Santa, though - through his little hut - and he waved and gave them a "ho ho ho" - which was good enough for them (another line averted :-).

We headed to PPG Plaza where the BIG tree sits, and.... it WAS beautiful, AND there was Christmas music playing, which was exactly what we wanted to hear (not some horrible band butchering a Katy Perry song). We even ran into some people we knew (though missed a friend's daughter skating in the Grinch performance). Now.... there were too many skaters on the ice (not safe), AND another long line, but we did sit and watch and soak in Christmas a bit. We wandered back to our train station, finding decorations, sparkly dinosaurs, ice sculptures and people dressed as elves running about along the way (also a police altercation, sirens, people in the crowd complaining about our stroller or that their kids got to an exhibit first - God forbid we snap a picture first...).

The kids were laughing, enjoying their cousins, making a game of the walk back to the car - found the T ride exciting like an amusement park roller coaster. We had a late night dinner, a bit hurried and chaotic, but yummy and full of conversation, with family.... found a Santa (and Mrs. Claus) who did want to talk to our kids and give them a hug. AND.... glow sticks (one already broken), one pair of pee pee leggings, leftover Chinese food, and some jelly beans in hand, we headed home. Sigh.

It occurred to me last night, as I wrangled my excited kindergartner, my cranky preschooler and my high maintenance "just turned three year old" (all the while texting the teen at a Central play-off game), that these are the crazy (but wonderful) years. Earlier in the day, I was part of a conversation in which someone mentioned that my kids were so big, so my life must be getting easier. Truthfully? And you all know this. Give me an infant any day. They are easy. Because, what you don't hear is that some preschoolers get up all night long BUT don't nap, AND... when you do school pick up for that, still very needy preschooler or kindergartner, the toddlers will run into the street OR take an hour to get into the building OR have one of their tantrums, and.... with kids so close in age..... it becomes a snowball effect.... This, however, is when you hit your stride - when you figure out that you MUST get to the gym - you HAVE to take them all to the grocery store - you NEED to occupy them with age-appropriate activities, and... within all this, you find a zen - an "it is what it is" - a deep breath in the chaos. And remember when you thought that having to nurse an infant every three hours was a big deal? Come on.... your ride is JUST starting. It will not be easier... it will be different.... and trying ..... and fun..... You will lower your expectations, appreciate the little things and take a good, long, hard look at yourself. All good.

Happy, happy all - Thanksgiving is a'comin'. And.... it appears that I am "back", huh? I am still in crazed organizational mode, so.... sporadic postings will continue :-).

Notables

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (Part 1) tonight - midnight.... Olivia is going with friends (I'm ashamed to tell you what we're doing about school Friday morning... I'm such a slacker mom). Can't wait to see it myself.

Hit East End Food Co-op this am (need to actually rejoin that place again) for some Tea Tree Oil conditioner.... yes, it looks like lice has made an official outbreak again this year in the schools (a few years ago, it spread like wildfire), and this is supposedly a good, natural deterrent for the nasty little buggers.

Photos: Milo in action in gymnastics - Lilliana with her guest award (it was observation day), and...brother and sister share a juice as Lil joins us for our ritual "donuts out" on Thursdays :-).

I have serious, serious, serious brain fry lately. Forgot to eat dinner last night - doing laundry into the wee hours - house a total mess - kids, thrown off by time change, are up at 2am, 3 am, 4am (so tired lately that, today, I wasn't even fast enough to grab Milo before he spit his gum into the Community Food Bank bin collecting for the holidays, and... I'm usually pretty quick - anticipate such things)....I really have no words...... AND... I have taken my 5 min for the day.... I hear fighting and requests for eggs with cheese and the "baby yogurt with blueberries" AND apples with honey.... plus my jacket is still on, groceries still in bags on kitchen floor, I have still not eaten solid food in HOURS, I am behind in emails, cleaning, etc...... Aaaahhhh....

Quick note about today, in general: It is a childrens' grief awareness day (see my blog list for a couple of posts), so... just be aware.

Salt of the Earth - here in Pittsburgh

I blogged / raved about this place and the gracious chef / owner there a few weeks ago .... way back when hubby and I could walk in off the street, late evening after a night on an art walk. Looks like that might not be possible anymore.... getting to be quite popular :-). Go - I command you all now - go! Pictured in the article, btw, is the pudding I mentioned / dreamed about / coveted.....

Kid Kitchen Project of the Day

Lemonade. And I think it was messier than the cookies yesterday. Helped at school today (made truly super cool fossils with K - snapped a photo of P4 hard at work on painting )- on last legs of editing my first 48 pg doc in this current project series - so ... needless to say, the kids' pjs hang on the bannister where I left them this am, I have forgotten my iTunes log-in / password and... while I did manage to get everyone to sit down to baked chicken, mac and cheese, salad and veggies (Milo had whole grain chips and an apple... we're working on it ;-), the dinner dishes did sit for a while tonight.

Happy Veteran's Day, all. I have a lot of family members who will be honored in memory tomorrow. Kids have no school - Milo has blood test - OC is not off so teen will attend school AND babysit pm - Always something....

The gym

Have been hitting it a lot lately. As a result, my arms are sore - my back feels better - and my cardio tolerance is hugely improving. Why do I stop going at all? Oh yeah - back to school, sick kids, home improvement, etc. Anyway - still love my Urban Active at Bakery Square.

Project re-organization is going well (aside from the mysterious blow-up pool toy on our deck, we are looking more neat and proper). Still all-consuming, however. Writing / editing project also time-consuming. Googled slow cooker roast recipes and top mommy blogs this morning. I have arrived at "that place" - no time - lots of ideas. Wishing you all well today. Miss you. What have you all googled lately?

Looks like we made it...

... to the public market - cranky, tired kids in tow and sleepless and overwhelmed with household "stuff" ourselves, we went. Even the teen went with us. And... it was Ok (I think we were hoping it would be more like The West Side Market in Cleveland). Small - OK variety. What is there is good. Got ourselves some nice pierogies, baklava, fresh flowers and coffee. Also found a new rustic bakery, Sustenance, which uses whole wheat flour, honey, etc. in the ingredients, making for tasty, not too sweet, healthier but moist luscious cakes, pies, cookies, etc. Her "store" is the market for now, so that's pretty cool. On the way home, we listened to the Red Hot Chili Peppers (a band that we and our teen share in terms of appreciation) and laughed and enjoyed one another - boys had big lollys - Olivia was telling stories - Lilliana was in a good mood, having just scored a dated Halloween vampire container from one of the candy vendors ;-).

Still taking it easy, so.... photos speak for themselves.

Have you guys ever seen the movie, Whip-It? About the roller derby girls? With Drew Barrymore and Ellen Page? It's good. Watched it again last night and can recommend it :-).

Calling all ye locals again....

Go see the Oakland and Central Catholic musical, Good News. If you can't this weekend, you'll have to wait for the spring musical, which is always fantastic.

Photo: The Olivias with friends. My "fifth child", Olivia B, made her stage debut this week (see flapper, pictured).

Plans for public market foiled this morning by sick child - and I mean the stomach "thang" has hit us hard. Next week, I suppose.... and, again, all ye locals should check it out too.

Project re-organization still in full swing...

Beware

I'm not back... just offering a quick fyi to you locals...

Worth a read... some attempted lurings of kids at bus stops, etc. in the city and 'burbs. Police are taking it seriously enough to meet on it. Scary - particularly with Halloween on the way and kids running around at night.

Photo: Olivia's end of season field hockey party last night (which I DID attend to repay the injustice of not being able to chaperone the Pittsburgh Ballet Theatre trip with her class on Friday).... Lil hangs with the girls (and Milo ran around the room while Daddy chased him, unfortunately, not before he disrupted the entire presentation - Enzo ate pizza and said he was tired - oh well, at least no one was screaming at me for picking the wrong jacket for them to wear or for putting the straw in the vanilla milk before I handed it to them and other SUCH horrible mommy mistakes, right? ALL I usually hear lately is screaming, fighting, hitting, toys being thrown, me being told I am a "bad mommy" - frustrating, so..... it was very nice to just have to sit and / or chase and / or keep chairs from toppling and / or make them eat what they took from the buffet, without benefit of plate, washed hands or silverware - ALL without risking life and limb or having to lose my voice trying to shout over the raised voices and cracking bones that I experience at home - and I have had a recent bloody nose and chin bruise trying to bust up a couple scuffles - not to mention the lingering cough and sore throat that is either aggravated by or prolonged by the constant reprimanding. Who knew kids could be this scary at times? Oh well - it is Halloween, right?).

Go Team!

ALL the Edgewood soccer teams played well today. Beautiful weather for it, and... man - do those kids know what they're doing or what?!?! Nice job, all (coaches too ;-).

Retail Therapy

Day out with Lil! Shopping Squirrel Hill - new birthday shoes from Little's (finally succumbed and got the sparkly, sparkly Lelli Kelly shoes that she always beelines for) - books, chess and funny self-portraits at the library - lunch and errands - dashing from the rain - meeting new friends :-). All to help remedy the cough that plagues this house by night (a la Croup - and it is "Croup-y" but also has the stuffy nose, scratchy throat, etc. that goes with other viruses). Rough few weeks for sleep with all the coughing, refilling of humidifiers, dispensing of Tylenol and all that comes with sniffies, achies and low fevers (my poor little E even had to have a throat culture so beware and stay well, all). Anyway.... appeared to work - looks like she's feeling more like her old self :-).